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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22821025">Playing with the past</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KutxinhaDC/pseuds/KutxinhaDC'>KutxinhaDC</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Lucifer's Cage (Supernatural), M/M, Maybe a bit of fluff, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Traps</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:29:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>24,828</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22821025</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KutxinhaDC/pseuds/KutxinhaDC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After 3 long days of back to back hunting, the boys return to the bunker. Little did they know, that Dean’s teacher from hell was back and improved with some extra knowledge to use against them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi guys, this is my first story with chapters so be pacient with me and give me feedback if you can.<br/>I am not native and any spelling errors are only mine. I do not own any of the characters.<br/>Having said that, I hope you enjoy. :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 1 </p>
<p>“ I call dibs on the shower.” Dean practically runs towards the bathroom. Sam only waits his turn by sitting in the Library with his laptop on. Sam had a feeling they had left Arizona too soon. Almost has if they were forgetting something. Or was it someone??<br/>
————————————————————————<br/>
2 days ago...</p>
<p>“I hate porcelain dolls men, they’re just creepy!” Dean complains while walking into the last of the rooms checked in this old psychiatric hospital.</p>
<p>They had found a case where teenagers would venture into a two century old abandoned hospital looking for adrenaline, and would not come back out alive.<br/>
At first, everything pointed to vengeful spirits. Those would be the ghosts of patients that died while being “treated” in this place, however, even after the brothers cleared out the ghosts, something kept killing teenagers.<br/>
“Dean, I dont think we’re going to find whatever is killing the kids in here.”</p>
<p>“What do you suggest than?”</p>
<p>“We go back to the motel, get it right and come back tomorrow,”</p>
<p>“Fine. But we’re running out of time here. If its nit ghosts then what is it?”</p>
<p>“Let’s go back and find out.”<br/>
After researching, the next day, the boys went back to the old place and found the responsible monster, and what an unexpected monster it was.</p>
<p>A witch was using a demon to scare off and kill everyone who got close to room 333. Turns out she  was looking for a box. The witch did not explain what this box contained that was so worth killing people for, but she did got killed herself and so did her demon. As Dean would put it, “Angel are your best friend!”<br/>
So with a few ghosts, a witch and a demon dead, the boys completely forgot about said box and went home.<br/>
————————————————————————<br/>
Present day...<br/>
... Dean came back to the library after his shower, already with a beer in hand.<br/>
“Shower’s all yours Sammy.” Sam ignored that, focusing instead on what was bothering him.<br/>
“I think we should’ve gone back to get that box the witch was talking about.”</p>
<p>“There was no box. She was probably talking shit to by more time.”</p>
<p>“Then why would she actually be in that place? Beside, I looked at the old article that I could find, which were hard to find by the way, and turns out there was a patient in that room that was commited there specifically because her family didn’t believe she could hear a voice coming from that box.” </p>
<p>“And they let her keep the box anyway?”</p>
<p>“Like I said Dean, they didn’t believe the girl.”</p>
<p>“Until someone did. Which was the witch right?”</p>
<p>“I think so, but I don’t know How the witch found out about the box in the first place.”</p>
<p>“So you think there is some kind of spirit in that box that was talking to that girl?”</p>
<p>“I don't necessarily know if it is a spirit. Could be a demon or yeah a spirit. But if it could communicate from the inside, its just a matter of time until someone finds it and that thing convinces the person to open the box,or worse, do what it wants. Dean, we can’t let that happen.”</p>
<p>Thinking about his brother’s words, Dean realised Sam may be on to something, so they decided they would leave to get the box the next morning.<br/>
On their way to the old hospital, Dean was listening to some classic rock while Sam went over the facts of the case.</p>
<p>“Hey, did you heard from Cas recently?... I’ve been trying to get ahold of him and I can’t seem to get trough to him, not even by prayer.”</p>
<p>“Cas has been radio silence since our run down with Chuck, and Jack’s death didn’t help. He left!”</p>
<p>“But did you try and talk to him?”</p>
<p>“Not really... Look, he needs space, we are gonna give it to him.”</p>
<p>“Since when you just don’t care anymore that he isnt with us? I mean, you always get pissed at him when he disappears and doesnt say anything, and now you are ‘giving him space’?”</p>
<p>“Yeh, well. Doesn’t matter! Let’s just focus on finding and burning that damn box.”</p>
<p>Sam knew better than to push Dean for more, so instead he refocused his attention back to the case.<br/>
When getting into the hospital, the boys had their weapons ready and went up to find room 333.<br/>
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary when they found the room. The door was on the floor, like someone burst it open to get in, and there was dust covering every surface of the room. The bed was made and the window was broken but jammed. There were only rats and spiders living in this place.</p>
<p>Sam started to go through the only drawers he could find, which were the ones in the desk. Dean looked around under the bed and exclaimed suddenly with excitement: “ah ah! Found it! You would think that these people would leave their stuff either in their non-existent closet or under the bed.”</p>
<p>Sam came closer to inspect the box. Dean was about to try and open it when Sam took the box from him and walked out of the room, making his way back to the impala. Dean followed him.<br/>
“What was that for?”</p>
<p>“We don’t know what’s in here, and you just want to open it?”</p>
<p>“Well, its not talking.”</p>
<p>“Not that we could hear no, but maybe we can ask Rowena. I mean, she was a witch after all.”</p>
<p>“That’s a good idea. But let’s just put that box in the trunk, for warded reasons just in case.”</p>
<p>Sam put the box in the trunk of the car and they went to find Rowena.<br/>
————————————————————————<br/>
Down in hell...<br/>
...Dean calls Rowena loudly who immediately emerged from her throne.<br/>
“Hello boys. How can I be of service today?” Asked Rowena in a sarcastic town.</p>
<p>“Do you know anything about this box?” Dean asks, pointing at the box in his brother’s hands.</p>
<p>“We found it in a psychiatric hospital room on a case, but like I told you on the phone, a witch was killing people to get to this thing.” Explained Sam.</p>
<p>Rowena looked at the box and took it from Sam, inspecting it.<br/>
Dean was growing inpatient.<br/>
“So? Can you do something about it?”</p>
<p>“Well! No wonder the witch wanted the box that bad. If you want to keep it safe, I would be quite happy to have it.” </p>
<p>“That’s not why we’re here for. And if you say that, then that means you know what’s in there.”</p>
<p>“Oh Samuel, ever so clever we are...”</p>
<p>“So what is it? Spirit, demon? What?”</p>
<p>“None of those. But I still think its safer to leave the box with me. After all I’m the queen of hell, and as soon as the rest of the power hungry monsters, including demons, have a whiff of this power source, they will kill each other and everything in between to get it.”</p>
<p>“So something that powerful hun?! ... I thought it was the other way around. I thought whatever is inside can make anyone do whatever it wants. Like the patient in the hospital that owned the box.”</p>
<p>“Forget that! Just tell us what is it?”</p>
<p>At Dean’s outburst, Rowena started to explain everything. She told them that the being who owns the box would have to be willingly and mentally strong in order to not let “the box” manipulate her/him or it. Only that way, the being could have access to the power of the “box being” and stay alive.<br/>
Apparently the box was some kind of prison for high powered beings, much like Lucifer’s cage could keep him inside. </p>
<p>“Well in that case lets burn it.”</p>
<p>“I beg your pardon?? Do you know how much power is in there? You cannot birn it because there is an angel or more inside. It would destroy us all!”</p>
<p>“Wait, you never said anything about angels in there!”</p>
<p>“Dean, Dean! It is literally a prison for raw power. Correct me if I’m wrong but the only beings created to use raw power are the angels.”</p>
<p>“Wait a minute, how many are we talking about?”</p>
<p>“Right now? One I think. But it can contain a lig more.”</p>
<p>“How many more?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know for sure, at least 3 dozen? Maybe more? I’m not sure but i can only feel one inside right now.”</p>
<p>“So what now? Do we release it then burn the box? I mean, if we do that there would be no more danger right?”</p>
<p>“Or...! We keep it and use it against them, next time we bump into a big number of those dickbags.”</p>
<p>“What about the one that is inside?”</p>
<p>“What about it? I don’t know many angels that aren’t dicks and i say we let this one rot. Plus he’s bound to get some company anyway.”</p>
<p>“Do you even know how to use it?”</p>
<p>“She’s right Dean. We don’t know how to release or trap them with it.”</p>
<p>“Then you help us!” Looking to Rowena. </p>
<p>The truth was, Rowena knew if all the demons got word about the box, she would not loose only her throne but also her life (well, her demon life anyway). So she decided to help the boys. Teach them how to release what’s inside, telling them that the box was also powerful enough to trap demons, but the two species could not be trapped at the same time.<br/>
If an angel was inside, the only way to trap a demon with, was to release the angel first and vice versa.<br/>
————————————————————————</p>
<p>Back at the bunker, the boys quickly went to put the box safely stored away and went about they’re lives, which included Dean drinking beer and handing one out for Sam, while Sam recorded what Rowena taught them for the box.</p>
<p>————————————————————————</p>
<p>A week later...</p>
<p>“We should’ve brought that box with us.”<br/>
Dean was right, Sam scoffed “ yeah! Its like they all decided to come out at the same time. So weird.”</p>
<p>Sam was about to say something else when he noticed his brother go to the armoury room, where they left the box. But when arriving, he saw the place torned apart heard Dean infuriate.</p>
<p>“Dammit!!! How the hell did this happened?”</p>
<p>“What a hell?? How come the only thing that seem to be missing is the box?”</p>
<p>“Who else knew about the box? Me, you and Rowena, right?”</p>
<p>“Right, but Dean, she helped us. She wouldn’t do this.”</p>
<p>“Yeah well, I don’t know.”<br/>
“Come on Dean... Maybe, ... maybe there was another demon in there, listening in. I mean, it’s entirely possible.”</p>
<p>“Yeh maybe, i guess.” Dean was still trying ti calm down after what happen. </p>
<p>They both agreed that they had to get the box back. Little did they know, that the one who had the box, knew exactly how to operate with it and was planning on using it to start another apocalypse, this time led by a demon.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>While the Winchester brothers tried to find a way to get the box back, the demon in question had a plan of his own to extract power from the angel trapped inside that box.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Guys let me know what you guys think about the story so far. Im still learning my way around so any feedback is appreciated. Thank you so much for reading, hope you guys enjoy. Again sorry for any mistakes. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>While the Back in hell, Rowena packed her things. She was determined to go back to Earth and run from the demon. She was certain he had the box and he would kill her if he found her. <br/>On her way out though, she heard him talk to whoever was in that box. She could not here the other voice but listening to Alistair’s ‘scruffed-nosed’ voice was already chilling. <br/>“Oh hello there! Aren’t you pretty lonely in there?” Alistair said very excited. He looked inside the box with hungry eyes.<br/>“You will be a good angel for me and will do as i say... because, well... ... because if you don’t, i will have no choice but to consume every part of your being, and trust me pet, with you in there and me up here, i most certainly can. Plus you have triple the power since you killed your box friends!” He said laughing histerically. <br/>Rowena thought this piece of information would be useful, so she hurried back to Earth to trade this information for her own security.<br/>————————————————————————<br/>Back at the bunker, the boys had been researching for information on the box and hunting for two days, before they heard Dean’s phone ring while on the table in front of them. <br/>Dean picked up the phone but did not recognise the number, so he put it on speaker so his brother could hear it too.<br/>“Hello?”<br/>“Hello Dean, how are you doing? Long time?”<br/>Dean and Sam exchanged looks both shocked. They did recognise the voice. Dean didn’t want to believe his own ears.<br/>“Alistair?”<br/>“Oh one never forgets me. Am i right?”<br/>“How are you alive?” Dean was curious.<br/>“Dean, Dean, Dean. I’m in God’s side now.” <br/>Alistair laughs into the phone.<br/>“What do you want?” Asked Dean, getting sick of Alistair’s voice.<br/>“What do you think I want Dean?... Come on, you’re smart, you figure it out.”<br/>“Did you call just to tease? How the hell do you even have my number?”<br/>“I’m a demon Dean. It’s nit that hard to find you two.”<br/>“Were you the one who took the box?” Sam figured, since Alistair knew about Dean’s number than he probably knew about Rowena, which meant he knew about the bunker and the box.<br/>“Hello Sam. Glad you’re still alive. And to answer your question, you guys are very sloppy when carrying such power with you. But obviously I’m smarter and stronger. Nothing in comparison to when I finish consuming this cute angel’s juice.”<br/>“There’s just one angel, we can still stop you.” Dean defied. <br/>At that, Alistair laughed really loud.<br/>“Ahahah! ... As if Dean, as if. But you can certainly try.  Tell you what, why don’t I level the playground for you two? The angel that is in here, absorbed his buddie’s powers and energy when he killed them. Think about that for a minute then come back to me will you?” <br/>With these news, Alistair hung up the phone. And not a minute later, someone was knocking at the door. Dean was already frustrated. He hit his open hand into the table and yelled.<br/>“Oh, now what?!!”<br/>Sam stood up and went to open the door, having his knife clutched in his hand.<br/>As he opened the door, he was about to swing the knife when he saw Rowena and suddenly stopped, letting her in closing the door behind her.<br/>Sam and Rowena went down the stairs to find Dean.</p>
<p>Sam took his place back and Rowena pushed a chair next to Sam.<br/>“I see someone is in a bad mood again.”</p>
<p>“We just got a phone call from Alistair.” Sam explained.</p>
<p>“Who’s Alistair?”</p>
<p>“Some demon we killed ages ago and Chuck brought him back like he brought Lilith bitch, not important!”</p>
<p>“It is important Dean. He’s got the box and he sounded like he knew how to use it.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, did you said he has the box Samuel?”</p>
<p>“Yes I did.”</p>
<p>“Then it’s definitely the demon I heard talking with the angel inside the box.”</p>
<p>This piqued Dean’s interest.<br/>“You heard them talking?”</p>
<p>“Well, just a bit. I needed to leave, which is why I’m here. I’ll tell you what I heard if you let me stay here.”</p>
<p>“Uhh... no offence but this isn’t that safe against Alistair anymore, since he was the one who took the box and he did it from here.”</p>
<p>“Oh.... great!” She said rolling her eyes. “ in that case, I’m off to Paris then.”</p>
<p>“Look. Rowena, just help us with this then we let you go to Paris or whatever.” Sam tried to rationalise.</p>
<p>“I appreciate that Sam, but if I stay and he finds me, he’ll kill me. Not to mention the angel inside seem to have upgraded in power...”</p>
<p>“Yeah! ... he told us. That sonnova bitch is planning on sucking the extra power of that angel and maybe even kill him.”</p>
<p>“Not if we get the box and free the angel... Think about it, the angel is more powerful now, so we let it out and he’ll certainly kill Alistair.”</p>
<p>“Awesome! Let’s do that.”</p>
<p>“And how are you planning on doing all that again?”</p>
<p>“She’s right Dean. We need a plan.”</p>
<p>Dean turned to Rowena, “ Well, you already taught us to trap and liberate angels, so now we only need to find a way to get Alistair, making sure he has the box with him.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think we can just separate them.”</p>
<p>Rowena, Sam and Dean spent another 3 days trying to find a way to separate the box from Alistair. It suddenly downed on Rowena that an angel can trap Alistair, so all they had to do was call one.</p>
<p>“Guys! We’re missing the all point here.”</p>
<p>Sam got curious. What was she talking about?<br/>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I mean, your angel can trap Alistair. He is an angel after all. And even if he cannot kill him, he can certainly trap him.”</p>
<p>Dean intervened quickly, reminding them that Cas was MIA for almost 6 months now.</p>
<p>“ Sorry to disappoint you again Rowena, but Cas is gone for a while now and we’ve heard nothing from him since he disappeared on us.”</p>
<p>“Oh! Have you tried praying to him? He may not answer his phone but he cannot say he can’t hear your prayers if you try.”</p>
<p>“We tried that. I tried that, and I’m pretty sure Dean did too. Trust me, Dean left him more than 100 messages and phone calls by now. I’m pretty sure he prayed to him too. But you know what? Maybe something happened to him?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, like he ditched us again.”</p>
<p>“Or... something really happened to him Dean!”</p>
<p>“Look, let’s just focus on this ok? He is not here so let’s keep looking for another way to get this box back.”</p>
<p>And so they did. At some point during the week, Rowena decided it was too risky for her to keep staying, so she promised the boys she would call if she found a way to help them. In the meantime, she made her way out.<br/>Hoping to catch a break if anything would happen that led them to Alistair, the boys decided to go on hunts in between. <br/>Sam was looking for another hunt when he came across an online article that peacked his interest.<br/>Calling Dean out of the kitchen, Sam brought Dean’s attention.</p>
<p>“You got anything Sam?”</p>
<p>“Yeh, get this... the article I just found states that there was at least 20 people dropping death and other 10 being confused and disoriented in a supermarket hear Chicago centre.”</p>
<p>“So what do you think? Demon’s living meat suits.”</p>
<p>“Or angels! Because apparently the local PD watched the footage and one guy survived and walked out after closing... get ready... a box that emitates light.”</p>
<p>“Alistair.”</p>
<p>“That’s what I’m thinking.”</p>
<p>“So, Chicago?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. But Dean, what were angels doing in a supermarket?”</p>
<p>“Beats me.”</p>
<p>Dean walked off. <br/>“We leave in 10.”<br/>Sam hurried of to get his bag ready.</p>
<p>————————————————————————<br/>While in Chicago...<br/>Alistair entered the now abandoned bar and got a drink from one of the glasses that were abandoned as well.<br/>He sighed, took a sip and slowly put the glass down and pulled the box on top of the counter. He looked inside, grinning before his smile fell.<br/>“What are you doing?!!” He exclaimed panicking.<br/>“Stop!... you cannot keep them all away from me. I will find a way to drain you fast and get to the other ones, so stop hiding them from me Castiel.”</p>
<p>Alistair closed the box, took it and stood up heading out. <br/>“ you will tell me where the others are.” He murmured to himself.<br/>————————————————————————<br/>When arriving to the supermarket in town, the boys were dressed in their FBI suits and headed to the ‘crime scene’.<br/>They looked around and talked to an officer about the corpses but all the officer could tell them was to take a look at the surveillance tapes. So they did. <br/>In the tape, they could clearly see an man that looked like he had an open box and was reciting something. The other people started dropping like birds and bright lights were being drone out from the bodies into the box. <br/>The man closed the box and walked out happily. Sam and Dean looked at each other then went back to the car to debate what they just saw.</p>
<p>“I guess we know what’s Alistairs new meat suit looks like.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Dean? What a hell was that?”</p>
<p>“You’re right Sammy. Why were a bunch of angels on a supermarket? But more importantly, how did he find them?”</p>
<p>“Plus they barely had time to react before being sucked out of the bodies and into that box.”</p>
<p>“Yeah!” Dean scoffed.</p>
<p>“You don’t think whoever angel is in there, could actually be telling Alistair where the other angels are do you?”</p>
<p>“Maybe, but maybe it was an attempt to get Alistair killed and it didn’t work.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. What if we just try and summon Alistair. He’ll probably bring the box with him.”</p>
<p>“And then what? Its not like we can exorcise his ass and get the box back.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, true. But maybe we can get him to talk.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, he did seem to brag about his abilities to sucked up angel power. It may work.”</p>
<p>“Let’s just use the devil trap that Cas and Uriel used the first time they caught him.”</p>
<p>“Oh you mean the one that almost got me killed? Yeah sure, why not?” Dean said in a sarcastic tone.</p>
<p>“Dean, that was a loose pipe and Uriel’s hand on it. There’s just us now... Can you remember what was drawn on it?”</p>
<p>“Yeah I think so, but it would be easier if Cas were here to help us.”</p>
<p>“I know Dean. I know.”</p>
<p>Sam looked at Dean with sympathy in his eyes.</p>
<p>The boys went to an empty warehouse and started preparing the trap and the ingredients to summon the demon. Once they were ready, Sam recited the spell and put it in the bowl to burn.<br/>Seconds later, the lights started to flicker and there was pouring rain outside.<br/>“ Well, well... Finally? I was getting bored...”.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. This will be fun!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Something told the boys, it was not a good thing that Alistair was having fun with this meeting. Why is he so happy? Smell like trouble... or is it sulfur? oh well sounds like the same thing to me.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi guys, sorry I am a bit inconsistent with the time I post my chapters. Im not sure how long this story will be but I just feel like I should explore what all the Cas fans want to explore. Maybe you'll find out what i'm talking about, further on. Please leave comments, I'd like to know if I suck that bad. Anyway, you guys enjoy. And Thankyou for everyone who is giving my stories an opportunity.<br/>Again, all errors are mine only. My apologise and enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam and Dean looked at Alistair then back at each other, shocked to hear that the demon was actually waiting for them to summon him. They did know however,that the trap was perfectly done and Alistair could not to anything while remaining in it. They also knew that the only way to get the box, was to get close enough to Alistair to be able to take it, which would mean stepping into the trap, risking suffering an attack.<br/>
They had no choice, they needed the box.<br/>
Deciding that he cold not risk Sam getting hurt, Dean grabbed an angel blade from he's duffel bag that was sitting on the table and moved forward, not letting Alistair distract him by trying to talk to them. The initial plan was only to get as much information out of Alistair, but Dean thought he could ask it to whatever angels were inside the box now.<br/>
Dean stepped inside the trap and Alistair instantly grabbed him by the neck with one hand and pulled him up.  Sam moved in a flash to try and stab Alistair.<br/>
With his other hand, Alistair used his powers to send Sam across the room.<br/>
Sam hit the wall hard and fell on the floor taking some much needed time (minutes) to recover. Whilst Dean was loosing consciousness from the lack of oxygen.<br/>
"Dean, Dean, Dean... I thought we passed that phase already. But you know what...? Its my bad, I really thought you'd want your cute angel back. I guess I was wrong."<br/>
Alistair dropped Dean on the floor and he started coughing immediately, trying to get his breathing to stabilise. Sam got up, ran to Dean and dragged him out of the trap.</p><p>"Now that we passed the dramatic introductions, perhaps you'd want to get to those questions?"<br/>
With his voice a bit hoarse, Dean asked "You just gonna answer them without anything in exchange?"<br/>
"I'm feeling quite generous, you see."<br/>
"Ok? Lets test that then, should we?"<br/>
"By all means, fire away."<br/>
Something was off, why was he being so helpful all of the sudden? The brothers exchanged looks again and Dean started asking questions to Alistair, who the brothers suspected was way too cheerful.<br/>
"How do you know how to use the box?"<br/>
"Easy. I'm a demon. And the box traps angels, plus I was brought back with enough knowledge to bring down archangels if necessary. I just need the right tools to do it."<br/>
"Like the box." Sam confirmed.<br/>
"The box is just an efficient way of collecting power Sam. The real weapons will be much easier to get when all the powers from the angels are absorbed."<br/>
"How did you know where the angels were? Was is the one that's inside the box?"<br/>
"Oh please Dean! You know your friend would rather die then help me. But to answer your first question, I can sense angels now. I guess there are perks for working for the big guy after all."<br/>
"You are saying Chuck gave you those abilities?"<br/>
"Yep." Alistair looked proud of himself and that scared the boys more than they would ever admit. But obviously, they were not about to show it.<br/>
Sam didn't miss the part where Alistair referred to the identity of the angel inside the box.<br/>
"Is it Cas?"<br/>
"Sam!" Dean wanted to stay on track. I f Sam started to get Alistair to talk about Castiel, he wasn't going to talk much about his next step, or as close as possible to that topic anyway. So Dean glared at Sam warningly but Sam ignored, knowing that deep down, Dean wanted to know about the angel too.<br/>
"Alistair? The angel in there *points to the box next to Alistair*, is it Cas?"<br/>
"Very much so Sam."<br/>
"What did you do to him?"<br/>
"I tried to collect this box previously and he stopped me, so when I got my hands on it, I took him first."<br/>
"That doesn't line up, cause we found the box in a mental hospital and we took it to someone who told us there was an angel inside already."<br/>
"Yes, that's because I thought that putting the box back would be the safest place to keep it, until I could find a garrison, I was wrong. First the witch, then you guys. So I had to get it back and I'm keeping it with me this time."<br/>
"Let him go! You got a bunch of angels from the supermarket massacre already."<br/>
"Yeah, true. But Dean,... you really don't want him back, do you?"<br/>
"Of course I do. Release him!"<br/>
"Look, we'll let you go with the box and the rest of the angels, just let Cas go."<br/>
"Sam!" Dean didn't like the idea of Alistair getting free with so much power in his hands. It was too dangerous, nut when Alistair answered, Dean was relieved and disappointed at the same time, because he did want his friend back.<br/>
"No can do Sam. You want an angel? Get one that is out there before I get to them all."<br/>
"Just him. No one else, just him."<br/>
"Love to hear you beg, but see, he killed the first batch of angels I put in here with him *points to the box he is holding*. I guess they didn't got along or something. But in result, he absorbed all of their power, therefore, he is the most valuable one I've got."<br/>
Tired of this conversation, Dean intervened.<br/>
"Look, stop lying, we both know angels cant absorb each other's powers if they kill one of their own kind. You are just messing with us cause you know we want him back, you bastard." Dean was getting fed up with the demon.<br/>
"Dean..., I wouldn't care to toss your feather-ball to you if I wasn't telling you the truth. In fact, I can release one of the other angels for you guys. Plus, you don't seem to know a lot about how this box works, do you?"<br/>
"We don't want another angel. You either give us Cas back or we don't need any other." Sam said calmly.<br/>
"Plus, you may be telling the truth about that, but when we get our hands on that box, we'll trap your smug ass in there and burn it with you inside. I bet you didn't know we could do that." Dean was smiling confidently now.<br/>
"I'm not an angel, sweet pie!"<br/>
"It works on demons too." Sam added.<br/>
"Now who's lying?"<br/>
"No one then."<br/>
Alistair realised they were serious and shifted uncomfortably. He held the box in his hands closer to himself and looked at it for a moment before chanting something. A light went from the box to Alistair's chest.<br/>
The brothers realised he was absorbing angel power. When the light subsided, Alistair burned a mark that was part of the devil trap, waving his hand in the Winchester's direction. While they flew to each side of the room, he vanished.<br/>
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>
The next morning...<br/>
Dean finished he's morning shower and headed towards the kitchen. Sam was already up and eating a bowl of cereals when Dean came trough.<br/>
"Morning." Dean said, going to the coffee and pouring some in his mug, smelling the fresh essence of the coffee.<br/>
"Morning." Sam replied lazily.<br/>
They sat quietly eating their breakfast for a while, but before the silence became too uncomfortable, Sam broke it.<br/>
"Dean? What exactly happened yesterday?"<br/>
"Alistair played us, that's what happened." Dean responded bitterly.<br/>
"Yeah, but Dean something is not right here... why would he want to tell us everything?"<br/>
"He didn't. He didn't told us how he's planning to bring apocalypse number 3. Plus he probably just wanted to brag that he can kick our asses now that Chuck is on his side."<br/>
"Yeah, I guess... But what about Cas?... He's disappearance make sense now. I told you something had to have happen to him."<br/>
"Yeah, I guess you were right. I just don't understand why he didn't came to us after he stopped Alistair from taking the box the first time... I mean, he could've warned us about that son of a bitch being back."<br/>
"Maybe he thought he could handle it. Look, you're blaming the wrong person here Dean, he was just trying to keep us safe."<br/>
"Safe? We're never safe Sam."<br/>
"That's not the point. The point is, he is stuck in there and Alistair is using him and draining his powers. He will kill him Dean." Sam was starting to panic the more he thought about the situation.<br/>
"Cas is strong, he can handle a little power loss if he sacrifices his douchy brothers first. Plus, you heard Alistair, Cas absorbed a lot of power from the ones he killed while inside already."<br/>
"Cas doesn't sacrifices them if he can avoid it. If anything, he'll be the one sacrificing himself for them. Beside, it doesn't matter how much power he absorbed, Alistair is bound to suck it all off."<br/>
"We need to get him out ASAP."<br/>
"We need a plan. The more we know about the box, the faster we'll find a way to solve this mess, so dig in." Sam pointed to the books he collected from the library before coming to the kitchen.<br/>
After breakfast, the boys moved to the library to start researching everything they could find on this box.<br/>
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>
Meanwhile in Colorado...<br/>
... the angels circled Alistair, ready to strike.<br/>
What they didn't know was, that he wanted them to try to kill him because it would take them being near him and he chanted and opened the box when that happened, at this point, each angel started leaving their vessels and being sucked into the box.<br/>
The box was getting crowded and most of the angels inside were not happy. The more angels got in, the worse they would "feel".<br/>
Alistair made his way to the next location where his "senses" were telling him the power was. But first, lets stop and refill the power he thought.<br/>
When the box opened again, the angels thought another number of angels was coming in, but for their dismay, it was much worse. Castiel saw each member of angels being sucked out dry and die in front of him. He did not understand, why was he still here then? Why did Alistair not start with him? He did held a lot more power than the newcomers.<br/>
While Alistair was busy feeding on angel power, he got rudely interrupted by one of them.<br/>
"You will have to wait your turn love."<br/>
He kept feeding but kept being interrupted to the point he had to shout.<br/>
"What?... I don't suppose you want me to take you up on that offer, do you?... You are smart enough to understand that I'll get to you sooner or later. And just so you know, I told your favourite pets everything. And trust me when I say, they didn't seem to care for you one bit."<br/>
With that, Alistair closed the box and got moving. His words were enough to affect the poor angel, whom already believed that statement to be truth.</p><p>Inside the box...<br/>
Castiel went to find a place away from the other angels to sit down.<br/>
"He's probably right. Why would they care? I only cause trouble." He told himself.<br/>
The one who seemed interested on keeping him close was the demon holding the box. And even then it was temporary. His own kind just wanted to murder him, use him as bait or blame him.<br/>
Castiel had an idea, and he was about to turn that around, using his already bad reputation amongst angels.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Angel in your 'box'</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Castiel turns rogue. Or does he? All the angels know, is that he isn't one of them anymore. However they do underestimate him like they always did before. Even Alistair won't know whats coming to him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello. Thankyou to everyone that has been following my story. I try my best to not take so long to publish but i didnt realised how this can be hard sometimes. Well, you guys let me know what you think of it. Thank you for the kudos... and feedback is needed and much appreciated. Enjoy guys. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel stood up and headed towards the group of angels chatting amongst themselves. <br/>One of them spotted him, signalling to the others about his presence. They all turned to look at him. The one that spotted him (angel 1), accused right away.<br/>"You! ... You know this is all your fault right?".... "You were here first and you told that demon where to find us." <br/>Another angel (angel 2) chimed in for logic.<br/>"An angel helping a demon like Alistair? Why would he do that?"<br/>"I don't know, but he clearly knew he could get more powerful himself in here." Explained angel 1, spreading his arms and pointing around him.<br/>Castiel was very calm, listening to them accuse him and debate their reasons. He took this opportunity to implement his idea, having nothing to lose, since they already hated him.<br/>"I think most of us will die anyway." Castiel finally said.<br/>"Yeh?" Angel 1 said. "And you're the one who's going to do it?"<br/>"No, not me per say."...."Alistair is planning on draining every single one of us, unless we stop him."<br/>"How? what's your miraculous plan?"<br/>"Like I said before, a lot of us will die anyway."<br/>"Oh so your plan involves getting us all killed? Figures." said angel 2. "Why don't you make the sacrifice yourself this time?"<br/>"I would, but first of all, it would take more than one angel to sacrifice themselves, second, someone needs to contain the energy left behind and third you guys already dislike me anyway."<br/>"And why the hell would you be the one carrying the extra energy?... In case you forgot, you killed millions the last time you had this kind of juice."<br/>"I already absorbed 3 angel energies. Plus, this is angel power, not souls. And even if it was, I'm locked in here, so there is no problem for the outside creatures."<br/>"Yeah, until the power is enough to get you out of here!" Said angel 3.<br/>"Yeah, you're not doing it. Someone else will." Agreed angel 2.<br/>At this point, Castiel got tired of explaining himself and decided to be the bad guy they saw on him.<br/>" I get your powers, or Alistair does. And you know he takes his time, so you will suffer. I'll do it fast and spare you the pain. And maybe, 2 or 3 of you can help me open the lid from the inside and get out alive."<br/>"You are not doing anything but become the first one to die." The angel launched himself on Cas, both fell an the angel tried to stab him, but Cas was able to block him with his arm. Taking his own blade, he stab the angel trough the heart. The energy from the angel desintegrated and went right into Castiel.<br/>He began glowing white, and the light died down in seconds. All the other angels were just staring and him. Castiel approached them again.<br/>"Anyone else?"<br/>All of the angels went quiet for a while before turning chaotic and attack him.<br/>The battle lasted for a maximum of 5 minutes. Only 4 angels were left along with Castiel. All 4 recoiled from him this time.<br/>Cas shrugged to himself. " I thought this would take longer." He whispered satisfied.<br/>One of the left angels slowly approached him and asked with a low voice, almost as if this would avoid triggering Castiel. <br/>"Will...hummm... Castiel? Will you let us live?" Castiel faced him.<br/>"Of course. I didn't want any of this brother. But now, we can try and leave this place with no more deaths."<br/>The angel sighed in relief and they tried to combine their powers to open the lid of the box before the next batch of angels were sucked in.<br/>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>Back at the bunker...<br/>... "This is ridiculous! There's nothing useful about that damned thing. I give up. We need a break Sammy."<br/>Dean went to get  some beers out of the fridge, he came back to the library, handing one to Sam.<br/>"Yeah, I'm getting bits and pieces, but nothing solid." Sam opened his beer and took a sip.<br/>"You said you got bits and pieces?"<br/>"Yeah. I've got a section of a book that says that an angel exorcism, gets the angels out of the vessels which is then easier to get them into  a prison device..."<br/>"The box.."<br/>"yeah, in this case the box. I think that's what Alistair is using to get them out."<br/>"But he was chanting in Latin,not Enochian."<br/>"Yeh, that's cause he knows only the basic exorcism."<br/>"Ok, well that doesn't help us. What else do you got?"<br/>San searched through his 5 opened books, finding one he needed, he pointed towards it.<br/>"That one says we need a double number of demons to the number of angels inside the box, to be able to switch them without the box itself realising the difference in power."<br/>"English Sam."<br/>"So basically if there are 2 angels inside the box, we need 4 demons to replace them. I just don't know how to make the switch happen. I think it may be with a spell."<br/>"Figures. Before all, we do need a way to get the box from Alistair."<br/>"Yeah, that's the other thing. ... Remember the symbol Eileen used for the banshee when we met her?"<br/>"Yeah?"<br/>"It works on banshees and humans, so it may work on demons too."<br/>"In humans? How the hell do you know that?" Dean was amused and curious.<br/>"She kinda... humm, she kinda used it on me the first time we met." Sam lowered his head embarrassed and waiting for his brother's teasing, which never came, as for once, Dean was actually focused on the case.<br/>"So we use the devil trap Cas used, we use the symbol Eileen used and we summon him again. And this time, we keep him stuck to the wall until I can grab the box."<br/>"Dean, you're forgetting something."<br/>"Cas is in that box, I know. I just hope he is still alive." Sam took a moment to inspect how his brother remembered the angel. He obviously knew Dean missed Cas more than he admitted.<br/>Focusing back, he stated. "No. I mean, yes he is in there but what I mean i, Alistair has all these angels, all that power and he still collecting more, the traps may not even work on him for long anymore."<br/>"Then we don't take long."... "It's still all we got Sam. We gotta do this before he gets even stronger and we lose the chance."<br/>"Yeah, I guess."<br/>Both boys stood up and went to work, grabbing everything they needed to prepare the traps, making sure to include anything that could stop Alistair in anyway. Once they were finished, it was time to summon the demon again. Dean got his weapons ready and Sam had a book in one hand and the demon blade in the other.<br/>Sam started reciting the spell and the weather outside started to get dark and stormy. The lights flickered and the demon appeared in the space trapped. <br/>Without wasting any time, Dean cuts his hand and puts it on the symbol in his side of the wall, causing Alistair to get stuck in his own side of the wall where the other symbol was. He is now stuck above the trap where he was standing. <br/>Without words needed, Dean towards Alistair and took the box from the demon with a bit of struggle. Sam grabbed the box from his brother and went to hide it in one of the warded boxes.<br/>Alistair was beyond furious, since he couldn't move and the Winchesters took his ultimate weapon. Damned those Winchesters! He was going to kill them.<br/>Sam came back and Saw Alistair stuck there. Dean took an angel blade and stabbed Alistair.<br/>Alistair started screaming as a light started pumping out of him, only to diminish making the demon start laughing.<br/>"I got too much juice Dean, you can't kill me. And when I get out of this trap, I'll kill you and your brother and take back what you stole from me."<br/>With wide eyes, the brothers looked at each other and knew exactly what to do. They set up a fast pace, working around the trap, making sure everything was done in time before Alistair could break free again.<br/>The demon was clueless as to what the brothers were doing but he quickly caught on.<br/>"I'm sorry to disturb your hard work boys, but I'm no archangel, therefore all this..." He gestured around with his hands. "... is worthless." He was able to detach himself from the wall by the time the boys were finished. Dean moved in front of demon to let him know why they put out archangel warding around Alistair's trap.<br/>"See, if the angel blade doesn't work, it only means your powers are up to the next level. This here..." H gestured towards the new warding on the floor. " ... can stop archangels for a while. What do you think it can do to a demon like you?" Dean was pleased with Alistair's realisation of how he could stay there for a while or die.<br/>"That's what I thought."<br/>Sam and Dean went to the room where Sam put the box in, keeping an hear out for the demon.<br/>Realising they had the box, they talked about their next step.<br/>"Should we release the angels?"<br/>"We don't know how many are in there Sam."<br/>"Yeah but Cas is in there and if there are other angels, they can combine their powers and kill Alistair, before he leaves again."<br/>"Yeah, you're right. Besides, Alistair did said Cas absorbed some juice from the angels he killed, so that'll help."<br/>"Exactly."<br/>Having made up their minds, they worked as fast as they could to get the spell to get the angels out.<br/>While reading the spell, Sam put the ingredients in the bowl and Dean was on his knees holding the box and trying to open it.<br/>As soon as Sam finished, Dean was able to open the lid effortlessly and all the angels came storming out. Everything around them seem to burst, the boys covered their ears, both on the floor, the box discarded on the floor as well and the angels disappeared. <br/>When things came to a stop, Sam launched himself to the box and got it back to a safe place until they could finally burn it.<br/>Dean stood u, his ears still ringing when he approached Sam.<br/>"What a hell was that? Where is Cas?"<br/>His brother was about to respond when he looked past Dean. Dean turned to see Cas standing in the door frame.<br/>"Hello Dean... Sam."<br/>Sam just smiled at him. His eyes soft. They hugged.<br/>"Hey Cas." Sam said in Cas's shoulder.<br/>When they pulled back, Dean just stood there in silence, looking at him.<br/>"Humm...Dean, I'm..." Dean didn't let him finish the sentence and pushed him in for a tight hug. Cas hugged him back softly.<br/>"I'm so sorry." Cas murmured into Dean's shoulder.<br/>Dean pushed back to arm's length, pointing a finger to Cas one he said. "Don't you ever do that again Cas."<br/>"I'm sorry, to both of you. I got careless and got caught." Cas apologised again, lowering his head, eyes admiring the floor.<br/>Sympathising with Cas, Sam was soft, " It's ok Cas, we know what happened and you are ok and back so that's all that matters."</p>
<p>They heard a loud crash and the 3 of them ran towards the source of the noise.<br/>Turns out Alistair managed to break through the two first layers of the trap with only one more to go.<br/>"Oh..no!" Castiel exclaimed.<br/>"Can you take him? He said you had some extra juice." Dean asked Cas.<br/>"I'm not sure I can. He took a lot more angels than me."<br/>"So he's got more power than you?" Sam asked, hoping it wouldn't be the case.<br/>"At the moment yes," Cas confirmed.<br/>"Shit! Let's get you some more angel mojo then."<br/>"Dean, that can only be done from the inside of the box,"<br/>"So we use the box to trap him then." Sam idealised.<br/>"What do you think Cas, would it work?"<br/>"Yes, I think so. That I can do."<br/>Sam bolted to the next room to get the box then came back. He was about to chant himself when Cas grabbed the box.<br/>"Sam, allow me."<br/>Cas walked towards Alistair and the demon laughed.<br/>"Oh, I should've just drained you. I won't same that same mistake again when I get out of here."<br/>"You won't have another chance."<br/>Cas started reciting something in Enochian. The words seemed to have a more powerful impact on the demon, because he grabbed his ears and screamed, excrutiated in pain. He got sucked into the box and the box closed, locking itself again. Cas handed the box to Sam, <br/>"Now if I were you I'd dump it in the middle of the ocean." Thinking better he grabbed the box back from Sam and headed towards the stairs to leave saying, "...Or I can do that for you if you wish." <br/>"Cas wait a minute!" Dean wanted  to keep an eye on the angel, knowing that Cas had to be going trough something after killing so many of his 'brothers and sisters' again.<br/>"Cas, I'll go with you."<br/>"Hum... I'm just going to fly over to the ocean and get rid of this. I'll be back. I promise."<br/>"Then, why are you using the door if you can fly again?"<br/>"oh! Habit I guess. But you are right. I'll be right back." You could hear a flutter of wings and Cas was gone.<br/>Dean went back to the library. He sipped on his beer, that his brother brought him, worrying about what may have happened to Cas inside the box.<br/>When Cas came back, he kept silent unless asked direct questions and interacted less and less with the boys throughout the next few weeks, Both brothers started to notice this behaviour.n<br/>Why was Cas acting so distant? Did something else happened to him while he was gone? Did it had anything to to with us? Those were just some of the questions the boys were asking each other.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. What did you do to my angel?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>3 months into the incident with the box, Dean wasn't satisfied with the sudden absence of the angel and started to ask questions. What is going on with Cas? Will we find out now? Stay tuned.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi guys, thank you again for the ones who keep following my story and give me an opportunity. Difficult times with all of us but we are stronger and we will beat this virus together. Stay safe and take care of each other.<br/>Any errors are only mine.<br/>Enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>3 months passed since the incident with the box and the boys saw Castiel again only when they called him.<br/>Each time, Cas deemed the calls 'unnecessary' or 'not urgent', so he would simply show up to say he was busy, or not show up at all.  </p>
<p>Dean had an idea about what to do to figure out where Cas would go when he wasn't around. They both knew he wouldn't go back to heaven, so where would he go? Approaching Sam in the library, Dean plopped down in one of the chairs.<br/>"Hey Sam?"<br/>Sam made a knowledge sound.<br/>"Should we just track him?"</p>
<p>"Who? Cas?"</p>
<p>"Yeh, Cas."</p>
<p>"Why?"</p>
<p>"Cause he won't even stay long enough for us to ask questions. Each time he is here, either one of us needs healing badly, or he is just focusing on helping us with a case."</p>
<p>"I know. He's going through something Dean. We can't just make him talk if he doesn't want to."</p>
<p>"It's been 3 months Sam! I'm worried. Plus, why did he smashed his phone? Unless he doesn't want us to know what he's up to." Dean said frustrated.</p>
<p>"How do you want to track him then?"</p>
<p>"Angelic hex bag?"</p>
<p>"What makes you think he won't notice?" Sam answered rationally.</p>
<p>"Or we can actually make him talk."</p>
<p>"You're not serious? ...Dean, he trusts us! I don't want to hurt him." Sam did not agree with Dean's implied idea. </p>
<p>"Woah, woah, no one said anything about hurting him. I thought maybe, keep him here until he ta;ks that's all."</p>
<p>"You want to trap him?... I still don't like it."</p>
<p>"Yeah well, me neither. But Sam, he is more and more distant in case you haven't noticed. We gotta do something to get him back."</p>
<p>"You can try praying to him again. Ask him to just talk."</p>
<p>"You know he won't come if I do that. Believe me, I tried." Dean huffed in despair.</p>
<p>"Off course you did." Sam let out a small laugh.<br/>Dean just got up and left the library, heading towards the armoury room. He hated to do this, but if Cas was starting to avoid them, then Dean was going to make him stay and talk. Dean told himself it was for Cas's safety, but not even he was convinced of that.</p>
<p>After a while, he summoned Cas, yes summon, cause he was convinced Cas would not come otherwise. As soon as Castiel appeared, Dean dropped the lit match to the floor. A huge fire ring formed around Castiel.<br/>Castiel was confused at first, then shocked. He narrowed his eyes on Dean after having looked around to the fire ring.<br/>"Hey Cas." Dean said softly, but was met with hard eyes and a rough voice talking back to him.</p>
<p>"What are you doing? Let me out!"</p>
<p>"No can do Cas." He said, this time a bit more harshly.</p>
<p>"What do you want?" Cas sounded annoyed.</p>
<p>"What do I want? ... I want you to talk to me men!!!"</p>
<p>"And why is this necessary?" Castiel pointed around himself.</p>
<p>"It's necessary cause you don't stop to talk about anything other than cases, and something's off about you again."</p>
<p>"Let me out and we can talk."</p>
<p>"If I do that, you're just gonna bolt again. So start talking. What a hell is going on with you men??"<br/>Cas looked down and silence was set around them.</p>
<p>" You're not pulling another deal with a demon again are you?"<br/>This time Castiel looked up.</p>
<p>"No Dean." His words were soft and hurt. " I'll never do that again. Please believe me" He sounded so honest this time.</p>
<p>"I believe you..."</p>
<p>"But...?"</p>
<p>"But you need to talk to me. If its not a deal then what is it? Another war? Are you dying? What's going on Cas?"</p>
<p>"I'm fine. No war. No death, Just me."</p>
<p>"That doesn't answer where you've been all this time! Where do you go that you can't stay here with us anymore?"<br/>Cas lowered his eyes to the floor again. </p>
<p>"Dean please. It doesn't matter. Just let me go." His voice was soft and cracking with pleading. Why couldn't Dean just leave him be?</p>
<p>"Look I know we aren't easy to deal with, but you've been around us for so long now, that I'm pretty sure you're used to it by now. But if it's anything we did... I did. Just tell me, so I can fix it."</p>
<p>"It's not you. It's not Sam. It's none of you."</p>
<p>"Then what is it?"</p>
<p>"Doesn't matter Dean. Please ... please just let it go. Let me...go. Tell Sam I'm sorry and ... I'll tell Anael to help you guys. I'm sorry."<br/>Sam was looking for Dean, and happened to walk in on them at this moment.<br/>" Sorry for what Cas?" He looked at how Cas was trapped in the middle of the ring fire, so he turned to Dean.<br/>" Dean? what a hell?"</p>
<p>"Told you I'd keep him here until he talked."</p>
<p>"Ok, well, I guess you can let him go now."</p>
<p>"Nope. Not a chance. He still haven't said much."<br/>Sam stepped closer to the fire to face Castiel.<br/>"Cas, are you ok? You were pretty smashed when you left the box and now you're a bit distant. We don't want you to feel imprisoned, we're just worried."</p>
<p>"I'm fine Sam. I killed some angels in the box but that doesn't affect me anymore, so I'm fine. I just can't keep doing this. But, like I was telling Dean, I'll tell Anael to help you."</p>
<p>"Screw Anael, Cas." Dean exclaimed. "What can't you keep doing? You can't help us anymore? Why?"</p>
<p>"Dean, go easy on him."</p>
<p>"It's ok Sam. To answer your question Dean, I don't want to keep feeling anymore. I'll miss the good emotions but I won't miss this." He put a hand on his chest.</p>
<p>"That's it? That's why you kept your distance? That's why you're switching us for whatever you are doing when you are not with us? You don't get to give up!" Dean was feeling hurt and furious.</p>
<p>"I'm not giving up. I'm simply going to do what I was meant to do in the first place. Helping people around the world. Watch out for the poorest souls."</p>
<p>"And you can't do that and help us too?"</p>
<p>"I do help you too."</p>
<p>"I think what Dean means is, you can stay with us here at the bunker when you come back from whatever you go."</p>
<p>"If I do that, if I stay, I'll never be able to shake this off. I'm sorry. I cannot stay."</p>
<p>"That's not good enough!!!" Dean exploded.</p>
<p>"Dean!"</p>
<p>"No Sam. He can't just leave us like that. That's not a good enough reason."<br/>Cas stayed silent, just watching the exchange between the brothers. His head hanging low under Dean's scrutinising gaze.<br/>Sam moved to grab a bottle of water a poured it on the fire. The last words the boys heard before Castiel flew away were " Thank you Sam. I'm sorry, to both of you,"<br/>Dean turned to Sam, not understanding why Sam would let Cas go that easily.<br/>"Why did you let him go Sam?"</p>
<p>"He's hurt Dean. Whatever real reason he has, to not want to be around us anymore, it's hurting him more than he cares to admit,"<br/>Dean calmed down a bit hearing those words and rationalising what happened.<br/>" He did said he didn't want to feel anymore."</p>
<p>"Yeah, but the reason isn't whatever bullshit he just told us. It must be something else."</p>
<p>"What isn't he telling us this time?"</p>
<p>"Don't know. But it's not by trapping him that you'll get him to tell us. Let's try to help him."</p>
<p>"Where do we start?"</p>
<p>"On the events of the last 3 months, and we go from there."</p>
<p>"Still think we should track him." Dean said amused.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I don't think he is coming back anytime  soon for your hex bags." Sam laughed at that thought.</p>
<p>"Yeh I know."</p>
<p>"Knowing where he goes would definitely help though."</p>
<p>"How are we going to do that now?"</p>
<p>"He mentioned Anael. Let's see if she can really help us."</p>
<p>"Get her to spy on him? I don't think she'll do that. They're friends."</p>
<p>"Not that friendly. Plus, we offer her something and she'll do it without telling him."</p>
<p>"Oh so an angel deal? Awesome! Greedy bastards!"<br/>Sam started laughing and Dean joined in.<br/>When the laughter died down, they went to get ready.<br/>The boys knew she worked at that local church where Lucifer found her. Turns out she went back there to earn some money.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. My diamond ring</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean and Sam encounter someone familiar, but is she friendly?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi guys. Sorry for taking so long with posting the chapters. I hope you are not tired of waiting and again I apologise for any typo or grammatical errors. All me to blame. </p>
<p>Thankyou to those who follow the story and I hope you enjoy. :)<br/>Please leave feedback if you feel like it. It will be much appreciated. Thankyou.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When arriving at the church...</p>
<p>Sam and Dean pushed the door open and found her at the end of the room with her back towards the door. <br/>Sam announced their presence and she turned to acknowledge them.<br/>"How can I help you boys?" Anael asked, curious by her visitors.</p>
<p>"We heard you talked to Cas recently?" Asked Dean going directly to the point.</p>
<p>"So?" She was suddenly disinterested.</p>
<p>"So we were just wondering if he told you anything about helping us?" Clarified Sam.</p>
<p>"He did mentioned that, yeh, but I have no intentions on doing half the things he did for you, no." </p>
<p>"Look, fine. But we need a favour. One favour. That's all we ask." Said Dean.</p>
<p>"We kinda need you to let us know where Cas is and what is he doing. Is that ok with you?" Sam tried to make it sound simple.</p>
<p>"What's in it for me?" </p>
<p>"What do you want?" Asked Dean.</p>
<p>"I'll take Mushima's diamond ring?"</p>
<p>"Mu... Mushi what?" Dean was confused.</p>
<p>"Mushima's diamond ring Dean." Sam intervened. " Its suppose to be some kind of ring that is said to preserve the soul of whoever wears it."</p>
<p>"Well done Sam." Anael praised. " I see you know your stuff."</p>
<p>"Yeah." Sam dismissed the comment and went into business mode. "Why would you want it anyway? You don't have a soul."</p>
<p>"It also protects our grace. And in times like these? Well, lets just say its better to be safe than sorry. " She explained. "Besides, I do look good with jewellery on my fingers."</p>
<p>"Alright well, where can we get it?" Dean intervened.</p>
<p>"I'd say its still in Japan, but that's just me." Anael presumed.</p>
<p>"If its in Japan, than you can fly there and get it yourself." Dean contradicted.</p>
<p>"No wings anymore, remember?" Anael reminded him. "Besides, if I did than you'd have nothing to give me in exchange for our deal."</p>
<p>"Fine." Sam rationalised. "We'll get it. But while we get it, you can't tell Cas anything."</p>
<p>"Why would I tell him?"</p>
<p>"Thank you."<br/>The boys were about to leave when Anael called out to them. "Oh and boys?" They both stopped and turned to look at her.<br/>"I'd do it fast if I were you." She advised.<br/>Sam turned back to leave but Dean's curiosity won.<br/> "Yeah? And why's that?"</p>
<p>"Because you are running out of time." She warned.</p>
<p>"Which means?" Insisted Dean.</p>
<p>"Which means, I may not have a lot to report back to you guys if you don't hurry up."<br/>Sam's interested was picked.<br/>"Wait a minute. Are you saying you already know where he is and what's going on with him?" Sam questioned.</p>
<p>"Where he is? No. What's going on with him? Maybe."</p>
<p>"So what's going on with him then?" Dean pushed. "You said we were running out of time but when I asked Cas about him dying, he said he wasn't."</p>
<p>"I din't say he was dying. Or not. I just said you are running out of time. Cause he may not be dying but I never saw him so low before. And that's saying a lot because he was always a bit 'shadier' then the rest of us. No wonder he got along with you two." She remarked.<br/>Dean did not like the implications she was making.<br/>"What is that suppose to mean?"<br/>Sam grabbed Dean by the torso and started pulling him out of the room and back to the car.<br/>"Dean calm down, you know she likes to tempt us. And if you think about it, she give us a lot of clues as to what is going on with Cas." Sam reasoned with Dean.</p>
<p>"She did?" Dean got in the car calmer now, but confused . Sam sat in the passenger side and closed the door. The engine roared to life and they started making their way back to the bunker. While on the road, the radio was low and Sam figured he would explain what she meant, to Dean.<br/>"You know, when she said she never so him so low?"</p>
<p>"Yeah?"</p>
<p>"I think she meant he was depressed or something."</p>
<p>"Depressed? Cas? No men. He may be sad, low like she said but he always bounces back." Dean tried to remember Castiel's ups and down, remembering how he always came back to himself.</p>
<p>"Dean, he said it himself he wanted to stop feeling and Anael confirmed it when she said we were running out of time." Sam reminded Dean.</p>
<p>"That's no confirmation for anything?" <br/>Sam was getting annoyed at the fact that Dean knew exactly what that meant, and yet he was still in denial.</p>
<p>"Dean! He wants to check himself out for good this time! That's what she confirmed." Sam spat this out fast. When it downed on Dean what Sam was trying to say, he pulled the car over to a stop and turned to look at is brother in the eyes. He had a hard expression on his face when he said it. <br/>"That's not going to happen ever Sam, do you hear me? Cas is not like that. He wouldn't do this to me... to us!"<br/>Sam's expression softened when he saw the hurt on his brother's eyes.<br/>"I so hope I'm wrong Dean. I hope Anael is wrong. But everything points towards it, and if it happens..."</p>
<p>"It won't!" Dean firmly cut Sam off.</p>
<p>"But if it does, its not your fault and you gotta know that."</p>
<p>"It won't happen because I won't let it happen." Dean was determined.</p>
<p>"And what are you gonna do Dean? Jack is dead, Chuck is not exactly in our side anymore, so I don't think we could bring him back anyway. Hell, I don't even think he'd want us to bring him back." Sam rationalised. <br/>Dean said a bit more firmly this time. <br/>"I AM NOT letting him go. Not like this. I don't care what he wants or not."<br/>They drove in silence for the rest of the time. They arrived and decided to call it for the night, reuniting in the morning.<br/>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>In the morning, </p>
<p>Dean woke up, he decided to pray to Castiel before going for breakfast.<br/>"Cas? Cas, I know you are probably pissed at me because of the way we last spoke, but please don't do it. Don't let what Anael and Sam are saying to be true. Please. I'm begging you here. I don't know what got you so down but you can come to me men, we can talk. Or you can talk and I'll just listen. Please, whatever you are planning on doing, please don't do it....Alright...!"<br/>Dean walked out of his room and got breakfast and a shower before joining Sam in the library.<br/>"Hey, so get this..." Sam started.</p>
<p>"Good morning to you too sunshine." Dean grinned.</p>
<p>"Good morning," Sam acknowledge and kept going. "Anyway, the ring we are looking for? I know where it is. It's being auctioned in London and if no buyers appear, it will go back to Japan in a week." Sam explained.</p>
<p>"London? You mean UK, London?"</p>
<p>"Yeh Dean, UK. I already booked us a flight for tonight. We should be ready to get back with the ring, hopefully by Friday night."</p>
<p>"No way, I'm not getting into a plane Sam." Dean shook his head in denial. " Not happening, nope. Find another way." Dean kept shaking his head to once more, express his desire to stay in solid ground.</p>
<p>"I don't see another way Dean... Ok, maybe I can do this one alone then. It's fine." Sam knew how scared of planes Dean was.</p>
<p>"Not happening either." Just the thought of letting his brother go across the world on his own scared him more than the airplane.</p>
<p>"Then come with me. You'll be fine Dean." Sam tried to encourage his brother. <br/>Dean didn't like the idea, but letting Sam go without him was worse, so he reluctantly accepted. <br/>"Fine I'll go."</p>
<p>"Great. Let's pack."<br/>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>In the airplane...</p>
<p>... Dean was freaking out and tried to whisper Metallica to calm his nerves. <br/>Sam relaxed and closed is eyes after giving Dean a reassuring smile. <br/>5 hours later, they landed and the boys booked a room near the airport just in case.<br/>"Sam? Where is this auction anyway?" Dean asked.</p>
<p>"Oh don't worry about that." Reassured Sam. "I'll call a taxi and get us to the address, but we'll have to go downtown and find something more suitable to wear."</p>
<p>"hum? I'm sleeping first. We can do that tomorrow." Dean said.</p>
<p>"Dean, its turning morning here." Sam pointed out.</p>
<p>"Yeah well, I can have at least 3 more hours, then we get breakfast and we go." Dean insisted.<br/>Sam slept on the plane so he let his brother sleep some more while he got a hot shower and looked for places in the centre of London to buy suits that would be enough to pass for rich people, for the auction. <br/>When Dean woke up, they went to grab coffee and brunch at the local pub and went to the boutique  Sam deemed good enough for them. <br/>When they walked in, the staff members eyed them and one of the girls approached them.<br/>"Hello, how can I help you?"<br/>Sam responded immediately, not letting Dean intervene. "We are looking for something appropriated for an auction but not too shiny or pricey."<br/>"Oh I see. Come with me." <br/>She took them to a part of the store where the clothing was as ideal for them as possible. Dean hated the whole process. By the time they got out of the store, Dean was hungry again.<br/>"Lets go eat."</p>
<p>"Dude, you just ate before coming here." Sam told him.</p>
<p>"I know but I'm hungry. And you are never dragging me to a place like this again."</p>
<p>Sam smiled and looked at Dean. "Wait until we use it tomorrow at the auction." He laughed now.</p>
<p>"Not funny Sam. Why couldn't we use our FBI outfits?" Dean inquired.</p>
<p>"Because, one, rich people can smell poor ones and two, we need to look the part if we want a shot at getting in."  Sam explained.<br/>Dean admitted defeat and they went to get take away. The boys got a taxi back to the motel and worked on their plan for the auction, the next day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The auction ride... Or is it?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The auction is the least of the boys's concerns. Let's see what is reserved for our favourite brothers.<br/>Sorry this chapter is shorter than the others.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for following this story. If you have any questions about what you are reading so far, please let me know in the comments. Feedback is much appreciated.<br/>What do you guys think of it so far? Does it suck? Should I continue or not?<br/>Is it too much?<br/>Your opinion matters.<br/>Thank you and enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At the auction...</p>
<p>The boys managed to get in without invitation, due to the sharp looking suits. Dean however, still managed to complain about his clothes.<br/>
"Dude, I feel like I can't breathe."<br/>
Sam scoffed at that remark and smiled. "That's because you ate too much earlier Dean."<br/>
Dean rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Lets just get this done so I can get rid of this costume."<br/>
Sam decided not to reply to that, instead walking up to the glass exposures that kept each valuable for the auction. While both of them searched the cases, Dean spotted several rings displayed next to each other, and addressed Sam so he could join him. Pointing to the rings, Dean asked. "Which one is it?"</p>
<p>"The third one counting from the right." Answered Sam.<br/>
Dean looked at the ring intensely, admiring it, before he noticed Sam walking to another more discrete section of the gallery.<br/>
"Dean, how the hell are we getting that thing out of here before Friday?" Sam sounded nervous, remembering they didn't planned that far. They never do.</p>
<p>"Dude relax! We'll let the auction finish, keep an eye on the 'unlucky' winner and steal it at night. Easy peasy!" The statement did not seem to reassure Sam at all. He was still doubtful.</p>
<p>"I don't know Dean. These people have more than alarms, gates and dogs at home." Sam rationalised.</p>
<p>"Sam, we fight monsters. We can handle stealing a piece of jewellery from greedy bastards ok?" Now come on, it's about to start." Dean tried to reassure Sam again.<br/>
By the end of the auction, Sam had pulled out all the information on the winner. Turns out a guy known as the British Baron had asked his 6 guards to secure the ring in a bolted safe, which meant the ring was out of the gallery the second the auction finished.<br/>
"Great!" Exclaimed Dean. "Tell me you got an address."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I did. But unfortunately, I got more than that." Informed Sam.<br/>
They both got a taxi back to the motel to discuss the plan and await the night.<br/>
"All right, we're here. Talk to me. What do you got? "</p>
<p>"Well for starters, the guy lives in a Penthouse near the Victoria couch station. Plus, he has more than just 6 guards. He has 3 big dogs, the usual security freak kind of alarm, with cameras and motion detectors..."</p>
<p>"I'm assuming we can get through all that, so I don't know where is the problem here." Dean interrupted Sam.</p>
<p>"I wasn't finished Dean." Dean motioned with his head for Sam to continue.</p>
<p>"Right. So, he seems to have at least 3 underaged slaves. And yeh, I don mean slaves, not maids or workers. Actual slaves, for him to use them however he pleases." Sam concluded.<br/>
Hearing these words, Dean made a disgusted face and said "Oh that's sick men!"</p>
<p>"Yeah" Sam agreed. "Which means we need to get them out as well."</p>
<p>"Woooah! Wait a minute Sam..."</p>
<p>"Dean, we can't let these kids be there after knowing something like that." Argued Sam.</p>
<p>"I know, I just think we'll have enough trouble getting the ring and getting out of there as it is. With kids it'll be impossible."  Dean tried to rationalise.</p>
<p>"Oh really?" Sam said sarcastically. "Cause I thought you said it would be 'easy peasy'!" </p>
<p>"Ok, ok!" Dean surrendered. "Not that easy, but why can't we call the cops and you can hack into the surveillance cameras of the house and anonymously send them as a proof?"<br/>
Sam opened his mouth and closed it again like a fish. He realised his brother had a good point.<br/>
"That's actually a good idea."<br/>
Dean's chest filled with pride. "Of course it is."<br/>
After double checking if they had everything they needed, the brothers made their way to the penthouse.The taxi stopped on a street near the penthouse and the boys went to find a weak entry spot to the house.<br/>
Once getting to the garden was easy, they got very suspicious, so they stayed where the lights could not spot them.  It was only 10mins later that they had made a complete assessment of the house, checking the number and position of the guards, dogs and motion detectors. The cameras weren't a problem, since the owners would not want to share them with the police and risk exposure of their illegal slaves.<br/>
The boys quickly went to work. Sam cracking the security system and Dean making sure the dogs and guards did not 'bother'. The dogs would have been a problem if it wasn't for Sam getting some shot tranquillisers stolen from the local vet.<br/>
Once inside, they started searching for the volt. They made smooth work and managed to retrieve the case containing the ring, without triggering anything. However, one of the inside guards came around to the top floor calling his boss and shouting about how his colleagues were all unconscious.<br/>
The Baron, woke up and went to check the floor where the brothers were at that moment. A small "Oh shit!" passed Dean's lips in a whisper before he grabbed the steak knife, he took from the kitchen earlier, and told Sam to run trough the back door.<br/>
The guard and Baron were about to jump on them when Sam pulled Dean with him out of the door,  and they both started running out of the property with the case in hand, like it was apocalypse number 3.   They had to run a few blocks away before loosing the woken guards.<br/>
As soon as they were safe, Sam sent the tapes to the police with a note saying 'urgent' and Dean opened the case to confirm that the ring was in fact in there. Which luckily for them, it was. Once they made it back to the motel, San started packing again.<br/>
"Dude, what are you doing?" Questioned Dean.</p>
<p>"Dean, we will have everyone in our asses tomorrow, we need to leave now. I'll just reschedule the plane tickets for tomorrow morning, but we should get going anyway." Hurried Sam.<br/>
Everything was happening so fast and Dean felt like he was the one who couldn't keep up this time. But his brother was right and if it meant ti get back home faster than he was doing it.<br/>
By the time they sat in the plane, it was around 7:30 am. They were both exhausted  so the flight back home wasn't so bad for Dean because he slept trough it. Sam woke up an hour before they landed and decided to wake up his brother when there was only 5 mins to go.<br/>
He tapped Dean's arm gently and called him. This was enough to trigger a response from the other one. </p>
<p>"Wake up Dean, we're here."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Sister, I need help</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The visit to sister Jo reveals more than the boys are ready to deal with.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey guys. I hope so far I'm doing justice to the boys. Stay tuned and thankyou so much to the ones that decided to give my fic, an opportunity and are still here with me. Thank you so much. <br/>I hope you guys enjoy it. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Wake up Dean, we're here."</p>
<p>When Dean woke up, he was met with his brother's soft eyes. <br/>"What?" He asked awkwardly.</p>
<p>"Nothing. I just think that I never saw you sleeping so well in your life." Sam responded.<br/>Dean shrugged it off and got ready to leave the plane.<br/>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>When they were back to their car, the boys started making their way back to the church, where they could find Sister Jo again.<br/>The boys opened the door to the room Anael usually could be found in. However, when entering the room, they were met with an empty room. Silence crept up on them and after a final inspection of the place, they went back to the impala.<br/>"Man, I don't understand. Isn't she usually here at this time?" Asked Sam very confused.</p>
<p>"Maybe she's taking a day off." Dean joked. Sam did not like that joke very much. This was a serious situation and he only wanted to focus on that.</p>
<p>"We need to find her Dean." Dean was about to answer when someone knocked on Sam's window. Sam got his window down and recognised Anael.<br/>"Have you guys tried praying before?" She asked. " I am an angel you know? I can't fly anymore but I can still hear prayer." She reminded. The boys just stared for a minute before she continued. "Weren't you supposed to be getting my ring? Unless you don't need my help anymore, of course." This last statement made them come back to reality.</p>
<p>"No!" Dean shouted suddenly. <br/>"We have it, ok? We were going to find you to give it to you." Dean informed.</p>
<p>"Oh great! In that case, why don't we talk inside." She gestured the boys to follow her inside the church room. Once inside...<br/>"Right. Now, let's get to business. The ring please." She demanded.<br/>Sam took it out of his pocket. The ring was wrapped with a soft tissue. Sam showed it to Anael and wrapped it back, not handing it right away.<br/>"First things first. How can we be sure you're gonna keep your end of the deal?" Sam asked, suspiciously.</p>
<p>"Oh Sam, that offends me." She made a fake offended expression. " Look genius, you got what I want, I'll give you what you want too, ok? Besides, maybe if I help you with this, you two will actually be able to fix it."</p>
<p>"Wait a minute?" Dean interrupted. "You actually want us to help Cas?" Dean asked surprised. She made a genuine sad face this time. Her eyes growing with emotion, something the brothers never saw on her before.</p>
<p>"Look, I didn't at first, ok? But after remembering what Hannah said about him and watching it for myself, I realised he may be the only one left from my species to not want to kill me. So I don't want to be the last one standing. He is making sense of both dimensions, Heaven and Earth, without asking for anything in return." She did not allow any type of reaction before recovering to a smiley face. "But that doesn't matter now cause you got my ring and I got a location." <br/>Sam approached her and put the ring on the table beside her.  She grabbed it and put it on, admiring it on her finger.<br/>"Now, tell us what you know." Sam demanded.</p>
<p>"Happily." She rounded the desk before sitting down. "He is kinda self-destructing for what I could tell."<br/>Dean intervened wanting to know more and not happy about this bit of information. <br/>"What do you mean 'from what you could tell'? Didn't you spoke to him?"</p>
<p>She grinned. "Oh, so naive Dean! Of course not. He is in Hell. I'm not going anywhere near that place." She clarified.</p>
<p>"Where in hell exactly." Sam focused on trying to find Castiel, but Dean was more interested in the reason.</p>
<p>"Why hell? Did someone put him there?" </p>
<p>"No Dean. He chose to go there. He is hoping that Hell can either punish him or kill him. I guess he just wants some encouragement to finish the job. Having said that, he chose the worse place of Hell to be. Lucifer's cage." She explained.</p>
<p>"But he can't get in, so what's the point?" Sam rationalised.</p>
<p>"You said finish the job? You're saying he already tried to off himself?" Dean had a hard believing her.</p>
<p>"Yeh Dean, That's what I am saying. Told you he is really in a dark place. And Sam?" She turned to Sam. " Lucifer's dead. The cage is open. Even you can get in and out now. Castiel is just using it as a self-torturing room now."</p>
<p>"So we can get him out!" Sam's voice filled with hope.</p>
<p>"Yeah, but I don't think he'll want you to. He won't let you." </p>
<p>"Than we drag his ass out if we need to." Decided Dean.</p>
<p>"That's up to you guys. My part is done here." Anael turned to leave.</p>
<p>"Wait!" Sam called out before she left. Anael turned to face them again.  "How is it that demons haven't tried to kill him then?"</p>
<p>"They can see his halo Sam. They know that its a matter of time until that light turns itself off. They don't have t lift a finger because they know it would be useless. Truth be told, not even the demons like to fight someone who won't fight back."</p>
<p>"He'd killed them you mean?"</p>
<p>"No Dean. On the contraire, he'd let them kill him." With that she just said her goodbye. " Good luck boys and pleasure of doing business with you as usual." She left the room and the boys went back to the Impala, heading to the bunker to go trough everything they heard today while eating. <br/>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>In the kitchen, they sat quietly, eating their food. Sam broke the silence first. <br/>"How are we gonna convince him to come back with us Dean?" Sam said, with hurt in his eyes.</p>
<p>"We'll figure it out." Dean said, chewing on his burger. <br/>The truth was, none of them had any idea on how to bring their friend back from the dark place he was in right now, and that terrified them. After passing, breakfast, morning and lunch trying to come up with a plan to convince Castiel to com back willingly, Dean got tired.<br/>"Let's just go and we'll improvise, we're good at that."</p>
<p>"Dean, the last time we spoke to him, we didn't convince him to step down."</p>
<p>"Then what do you suggest we do? We can't wait for him to succeed what he's trying, Sam." Said Dean, feeling desperate.</p>
<p>"How about we start with the two angels that got out of the box with him. Whatever happened, that's where it started."</p>
<p>"We don't even know who they are." Reminded Dean.</p>
<p>"We ask Anael, she must know."</p>
<p>"Oh great!" Dean said in a sarcastic tone. "What's it gonna be this time? Some diamond necklace from Japanese mob?"</p>
<p>"Whatever it takes."</p>
<p>"Awesome!" Dean sounded annoyed.<br/>The boys made their way back to the church again, hoping to have some more answers this time. On their way there, Dean expressed his discontentment.<br/>" I still think we should at least get him out of Hell."</p>
<p>"He won't budge and you know it."</p>
<p>"Yeah, but what if he finishes the job while we are trying to figure out what's wrong with him?"</p>
<p>"We know what's wrong with him. We just need perspective. His to be exact."</p>
<p>"I just wish he'd talk to us." Dean admitted  with a defeated air.</p>
<p>"How about this, I'll go to Anael and you can try and talk to him again. Keep an eye on him." Sam laid out his idea.</p>
<p>"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Anything and you just come find me. I was gonna say call me but..."</p>
<p>"Yeah I doubt  that Hell as good reception." Sam finalised Dean's thought.</p>
<p>"Yeah" Dean agreed.<br/>Dean left the car with his duffel bag, heading to the closest motel to get the spell to go to Hell ready. <br/>Meanwhile, Sam found the church  and went looking for Anael.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The dark side of the light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Here we see Sam's perspective with Anael and Dean's perspective with Castiel.<br/>Will Dean be in time to save Cas? What will Sam discover?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I guys. I may take a bit longer to post new chapters after this because I still have to write them and I have a bunch of assignments, so please be patient with me. In the meantime, feel free to drop me some feedback if you can. I 'd love to hear what you all think.<br/>Im going to apologise for any mistakes made again, and now with no further due, please enjoy.<br/>:) :) :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean was very wary and suspicious of his surroundings while he descended the millions of stairs that led to the pit. He could hear the tortured souls's cries, but got quickly used to it due to his time in hell. What he wasn't used to, was the lack of demons trying to kill him. No demons in site, not even one. Something was definitely wrong with this place.<br/>
Dean seemed to be walking for hours when he came across freshly transformed demons running in the opposite direction Dean was heading. One of them tripped and he took the opportunity to grab the girl  and slammed her against the wall.<br/>
"Tell me what's going on with this place." Dean demanded a bit more aggressively than necessary.</p>
<p>The demon girl was too new to react, so she complied with, was it fear? Yes it was fear in her eyes.<br/>
"It's leaking." She said trembling.</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" He pressed.</p>
<p>"It's leaking everywhere. Its leaking and killing all of us. We are trying to go up to Earth, to escape it. No one can stay here, or we all die." She seemed to try to move off of his hold but it didn't work.  "Please, just let me go!" She pledged.</p>
<p>"Not until you tell me what's leaking?"<br/>
She looked at him surprised, realising he didn't know what was causing the leak.<br/>
"The angel!" She said, like it was obvious.</p>
<p>"Where is he?"</p>
<p>"Follow the leak trail and you'll find the cage. That's where he is." Except Dean is human, he cannot see the leak, or whatever that was. So he asked.</p>
<p>"The leak or whatever, what is it? What exactly is it?"<br/>
She pushed off of him with a rush of adrenaline and got him to let go of her.<br/>
"You are crazy!" She stated before running.</p>
<p>Dean had no choice but to keep going until he could find all the other demons running from a specific room.<br/>
When he waked into the room, the first thing he saw was the cage. It looked normal, except the door was opened and he barely make out a figure sitting against the bars at the back of the cage. More demons kept running out of the room like Hell was freezing.<br/>
Dean approached the cage door and spotted a substance glowing blue as a trail from the back of the cage to the outside. In closer inspection, Dean decided to collect some of it, to have a better look later. This stuff was probably 'the leak' that the demon girl was talking about. The stuff that kept the demons running from the place.  He pocketed the sample and stepped inside the cage, suddenly feeling dizzy with the heavy air surrounding him. He approached the figure on the floor by kneeling gently in front of said form.<br/>
No reaction was made. Dean looked at the low hanging face. Castiel looked small with his legs and harms retrieved against his chest.<br/>
Dean tried to get a reaction out of his friend.<br/>
"Cas?" Dean's voice was low while he spoke. Almost as if he was afraid of scaring Cas if he spoke louder.</p>
<p>"Cas? It's Dean. I'm here." Dean tried again. But nothing happened.</p>
<p>"Please talk to me. I'm worried about you."<br/>
Nothing.<br/>
"Sam is trying to find a way to help you as we speak."<br/>
Nothing<br/>
"Please Cas, say something. Please, anything. Tell me to fuck off if you want, but say it."<br/>
Nothing.<br/>
"Fine. At least look at me. Just look at me please."  Dean's voice was starting to break, seeing is friend like this.</p>
<p>"Come on Cas. Don't make me lift your head up men." Dean tried to joke but it came out flat. Nothing seemed to be working, until he noticed...<br/>
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>Sam couldn't find Anael anywhere so he just called her like she asked the last time they met. He prayed.<br/>
"Anael? I kinda need your help. Again. Please? It's important. It's still about Cas, but we are working on a new angle."<br/>
Sam saw a red car parking next to the Impala, about 10 mins later. Anael walked out.<br/>
"You wanted to talk?" She asked, all cheerful. Not wanting to waste time, Sam went directly to the point. </p>
<p>"Yeah. Can you give me some information or do I need to get anything else for you? I mean, I'm kinda in a hurry here..." Sam mentioned.</p>
<p>"Save it. I don't need anything else from you for now. What do you want to know? Make it quick, I have an appointment." She sounded indifferent.</p>
<p>"Right. So, did Cas ever mentioned the names of the two angels that got out of the cursed box with him?"</p>
<p>"What box?"</p>
<p>"He din't told you?" Sam's hope was deflating when he realised she didn't know this side of the story, which would mean she wouldn't be able to help. Dam it!<br/>
That hope however, was slightly brought back though.<br/>
"He didn't say anything about a box. He just kept saying he was sorry for killing those angels. It's not like I care that he killed angels though."</p>
<p>"Right. But two of them survived. Did he said anything about that?" Sam pressed, trying to get any bit of information he could work with.</p>
<p>"Azaniel and Muriel yeah. He said they were scared of him at the end and that he just wanted to help him. So typical of Castiel if you ask me." She said rolling her eyes.</p>
<p>"Thanks Anael." Sam got the names, so he could just summon them. He was about to leave when she called back.</p>
<p>"Sam wait." She went after him, so he stopped. "What are you gonna do with this information?"</p>
<p>"Save Cas, or die trying." He started walking off again.</p>
<p>"You should've thought of that years ago you know." She shouted back. Hearing this, Sam turned to face her once more.</p>
<p>"And what exactly is that suppose to mean now?" He was starting to get annoyed with her indirect remarks.</p>
<p>"I mean, I'm not his friend but at least he knows it. But you and your brother?" She paused too long.</p>
<p>"Me and my brother are his family."<br/>
Anael scoffed and rolled her eyes at that.<br/>
"That's not what he must think anymore, you know. I mean, think about it Sam. All the times he was captured, injured, tortured, used and what more, where the hell were you two? Sure, you guys helped him a few times, but more often than not, he was alone. He got out of the grips of whoever was hurting him by himself."<br/>
That cut deep in Sam's chest and he didn't want to think about what she was saying.</p>
<p>"You know nothing about what happened." He said back.</p>
<p>"Think again. I stayed updated on the 3 of you. So I know more than you think. And I'm not sure, but maybe that's the real reason he wants out. And that is on you and your brother only." She concluded.<br/>
After this speech, she walked back to her car and left. Sam went back to the motel, thinking about everything he heard and trying to convince himself that she was wrong. Unsuccessfully I must say. He got to the motel and got ready to summon the two angels. One at the time so he could hear both their versions separately.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Out of the fire, into the frying pan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Let the boys find out the truth about Castiel's retiring.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi guys.<br/>I'm sorry if the story is too long for you. I plan on having a Destiel kinda ending. Im ultimately trying to conveu a message about the show with this fic. Nothing bad just sad. u guys enjoy. And thank you everyone that have been following the story. Enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Sam Winchester." The angel said, from the inside of the holy fire circle.</p>
<p>"Azaniel, right?" Sam asked, just to confirm.</p>
<p>"What can I do for you handsome? Its unlike you Winchesters to call anyone but dear old Castiel." The angel commented.</p>
<p>"You and Muriel were the last ones to talk to Cas, right? " Sam ignored the previous teasing.</p>
<p>"So?" The angel confirmed indirectly and crossed his arms.</p>
<p> "So, can you tell me what happened before you guys got out?" Sam pressed. The angel was not so happy.</p>
<p>"Why don't you ask your friend? He is a psycho."</p>
<p> "Really?" Sam scoffed amused. "You're afraid of him?" Sam realised.</p>
<p> "No, I'm not, but that psycho murdered all of the angels around us, and Muriel and I had to beg him to spare us, that's what happened. Now let me go." The angel demanded.</p>
<p>"I don't think so, no." Sam decided.</p>
<p> "What else do you want from me? I'm telling you the truth here." Azaniel sounded desperate, he did not like his current position.</p>
<p>"Why? Why would he kill all of them? it doesn't make sense." Sam said that last part to himself, but the angel heard him anyway.</p>
<p>"Look men, you want the all truth? Fine, here it goes. When we were in there, most of us got against him, so half the time, he was sitting in some corner away from us. Next thing I know, angels are insulting him for having more power than the rest of us. He said he could use that extra power to try to open the box. The others disagreed and attacked him, so he killed them all, but he absorbed their energy, and well you know the rest, me, him, and Muriel got out. That's that. Now let me out."</p>
<p> Sam heard everything carefully, but some of the pieces were still missing, regardless, he let the angel go, hoping Muriel would be able to fill in the blanks. The second angel appeared in the circle of fire and jolted out; he wasn't used to being trapped.</p>
<p>"What...? What is this?" Muriel said a bit more innocently and scared. Sam realised that this kid had no experience in the battlefield, must've been a student angel or something like that.</p>
<p>"Hey, I'm Sam." He tried.</p>
<p>"I know who you are." Muriel responded.</p>
<p>"Azaniel told me what happened inside the box, but I still have questions. I can let you go if you help me with the rest, okay?" Sam said calmly.</p>
<p>"What do you want to know?" Muriel said more confidently.</p>
<p> "Cas is hurt. Not physically. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Sam needed to make sure the angel understood what was really going on. But for his reassurance, the angel nodded, so Sam continued. "Ok, good. He got worse; a lot worse after having been inside of the box. Now, I know it’s not the extra power, so I'm just trying to figure out what or whom did this to him." Sam was hoping the kid could catch up to him.</p>
<p> "The angels. Some of them were really mean to him."</p>
<p>"How mean, Muriel?"</p>
<p> "Like, before they attacked him, they said all kinds of abusive words to him... and I know Azaniel doesn't like him, but Castiel looked honest when he said he didn't want to hurt anyone." Muriel explained.</p>
<p> "So, help me. Help him. What exactly did the angel said to him, Muriel? I mean, you know that Cas doesn't usually give a crap about what others say about him..." Sam reminded.</p>
<p>"Yeah I know. That is true, but he listens when we talk about you and Dean." The angel was silent for a minute before Sam gestured for him to continue. " One of the oldest angels was insulting him, when she started saying the reason why no one helped him, when he was tortured a while back. It was because of you and your brother not caring enough for him, only about each other. She told him that Father only brought him back so you and your brother could use him and his power. That once he was powerless, you two showed no interest on him anymore.”</p>
<p>Sam had a Deja-vu from Anael, so he pressed. “Cas heard that a lot of times and we always told him it wasn’t truth.”</p>
<p>“Ok. Except she told him that actions speak louder than words and that your actions said that he was nothing to either of you from the beginning. She said that you only call him when you need him. You only help him if he asks relentlessly. You never tried to get to him when he was human. And that its always when he is about to die, that you guys realise that he is your only source of power. He only said some simple words when she finished.” Muriel finished.</p>
<p>“What did he say?” Sam feared the answer.</p>
<p>“He went back to sit away from everyone after saying it, and before the angels started attacking him.” Muriel hesitated to answer the question.</p>
<p>“What did he say?” Sam emphasized. The angel seemed to hesitate yet again, before saying the words Sam did not want to hear.</p>
<p>“He said ‘you are right, I remember now’.” Sam turned his back to the kid, shoulders tense. He turned back again, wanting to confirm what he was so afraid of.</p>
<p>“One last thing. Are you saying this is all our faults?”</p>
<p>“What is?” Sam forgot that the kid did not know where Castiel was now.</p>
<p>“Cas is hurt. Is this why? Is this our fault?” Sam clarified and asked again.</p>
<p>“According to basically all the angels, including Lucifer, who has possessed him at some point, even the demons agree. Yes, I’d say yes.”</p>
<p>Sam let the angel go and heads to the bathroom. He closes the door and slides down against it, to the floor. He bursts out crying when he realised what everyone has been saying plus his own actions got Castiel to think it was all true, which is the reason why he is where he is now. Remembering the need to do something about it, Sam got up and splashed his face with water before walking out to the car and speeding down the road to find Dean. Dean, oh Dean! What was he gonna tell his brother?</p>
<p>____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________</p>
<p>… what was that? Dean grabbed Castiel’s wrist.</p>
<p>“Oh Cas!” Dean was sad and broken. He knew that Cas couldn’t die from bleeding out but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t torture himself. Dean noticed the same substance that he found near the cage door; it was mixed with all that blood. That’s when it clicked, Cas wasn’t out because of blood loss, he was not waking up due to the lack of grace. The substance kills demons, and it is what keeps an angel strong. It was grace. Dean lifts Cas’s face with both hands, he then confirms his suspicions. Cas’s left side of the neck was opened, the tare was still spilling out grace. It kept flowing down his body, to the floor, to the outside of the cage. This was what all the demons were running from. Dean tried to stop the flow by covering the wound with his flannel shirt. Nothing seemed to work.</p>
<p>He grabbed the sample he had from his pocket and figured he’d use it to try to seal the wound, but he forgot that he would only work if Castiel allowed it.</p>
<p>“Damn it Cas!” Dean was frustrated and desperate at this point.</p>
<p>So, he left the cage looking for something he could use to drag his friend out of the cage. He figured if he could get back up to Earth, he could call Sam.</p>
<p>“I’ll be right back Cas. I’m bringing help. You’ll be fine.” Dean was trying to convince himself more than anything. Halfway up the stairs, Dean sees a shadow coming down.</p>
<p>“Sam?” He is met with his brother answering him back with a extremely tight hug. That’s when he saw Sam’s eyes watering.</p>
<p>“Sam are you ok? What’s going on?” Dean said, worried.</p>
<p>“Dean, where is Cas?”</p>
<p>Dean started running down the stairs with his brother right behind him. Dean stopped Sam before entering the cage.</p>
<p>“I gotta warn you, he is in a pretty bad shape. He isn’t even conscious.”</p>
<p>“Is he…?” Sam couldn’t finish the question, but Dean knew what he meant, so he answered.</p>
<p>“No. I think he’s still here. For now, that is. Just help me bring him back up. I’ll look for something to help us take him.”</p>
<p>Sam stepped carefully inside the cage while Dean went to find something to bring Castiel up. Sam saw Castiel’s state and couldn’t help thinking it was all his fault. He pulled Cas towards him and got his arms around his friend. Dean came back with an improvised stretcher. He went back into the cage and saw Sam crying his heart out, holding Castiel in a dead tight grip.</p>
<p>“Sam he isn’t dead yet. We can help him. Then you’ll tell me what you found out so we can save him and kill whoever is responsible for this.”</p>
<p>Dean went to try to get Castiel out of Sam’s grip, but Sam would not have it. He kept holding on like he was the last good thing on the planet.</p>
<p>“Sam!” Dean urged.</p>
<p>Dean was very scared, but he preferred to focus that energy into saving Castiel.</p>
<p>“Dean! It’s our fault. Cas is like this because of us.” Sam shouted.</p>
<p>“Don’t be stupid Sam. It is not our fault, but I promise we will find out who’s is and make them pay.” Dean tried to reassure Sam.</p>
<p>Sam finally let go, so he and Dean managed to get Cas all the way back to Earth. Sam hadn’t been able to say another word all the way. </p>
<p>Dean and Sam were exhausted when they got to the bunker but none of them went to rest. Sam was debating the right time to tell Dean what he found out, so he stayed with Cas. Castiel was currently laying down on Dean’s bed (because Dean insisted). Sam was sitting next to him and Dean went to the library to call Anael, then Rowena. He needed all the help he could get, and fast.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Help, my angel's dying</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The fluff starts here very subtly so keep your eyes open guys.<br/>We get the girls to help. Maybe we do? Does Castiel want help?<br/>Dean finds out the real truth about Castiel's state. How is he going to react?<br/>Stay tunned guys.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And mostly, enjoy the fic. Sorry for any previous, present and future mistakes. They are all mine.<br/>And some of the scenes refered, are of some real episodes of the show, so if you haven't seen everything, I recommend you come bak once you have wathed all episodes, otherwise you my not understand them.<br/>Enjoy. Thankyou. :) Stay safe, and stay cool. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hello?” Anael picked up the phone.</p>
<p>“Hey. We found him. We need help.” Dean was all business.</p>
<p>“What makes you think I can help him?” She asked, just to make him doubt.</p>
<p>“You’re an angel.” He argued. “You must be able to tell if there is anything we can do. You’d be able to save yourself if something like this happened.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know exactly what’s happening Dean. Besides, if he is not healing himself, there is nothing we can do, not even me.” She clarified.</p>
<p>“He isn’t healing because he isn’t conscious. Just... please.” Dean sounded defeated. “Please, get here, see him, so you can help him. Please, I’m begging you here.” Did tried. He couldn’t let Castiel die.</p>
<p>“If he isn’t healing then there is nothing I can do. Even unconscious he’d be able to heal himself.”</p>
<p>“But... can’t you do it?” Dean insisted.</p>
<p>“What part of ‘he needs to want this’ don’t you understand? Even if I try to heal him, he doesn’t want to be healed, so it won’t work. I’m sorry. I really am. Maybe try to talk to him, while he can still hear you. Then if he changes his mind, give me a call.” With that, she hung up the phone. Dean didn’t waste time in calling the witch. </p>
<p>“Hello dearie.”</p>
<p>“Are you in the country?” Dean asked, remembering the last time they spoke, the women talked about leaving the country.</p>
<p>“Paris is cold at this time of the year, so yes.” She responded with an annoyed tone.</p>
<p>“How fast can you get to the bunker?” He hurried.</p>
<p>“Why?” The witch was surprised.</p>
<p>“Cas..., he is...” Dean trailed of.</p>
<p>“What happened to the pretty angel? Is he out of that box?” She was worried now.</p>
<p>“Yes, he is out of the box and he is dying ok? Please help us.” Dean’s voice broke. His eyes watered trying to contain the emotion.</p>
<p>“I’ll try to be there by tonight, but I’m not sure what I can do for him Dean.” Rowena told him, so Dean wouldn’t get his hopes up. </p>
<p>“Ok, ok. Thank you. Please just hurry.” Dean said before finishing the call.<br/>
He ran into his room to find Sam sleeping, seated against the headboard of the bed, with his head hanging towards his chest. He must have cried himself to sleep, Dean thought. He left his brother to get some rest and pulled a chair to Castiel’s side of the bed. He grabbed Cas’s left hand and covered it with his own two. Dean prayed. And he prayed to Castiel. He prayed so Cas could hear him. </p>
<p>“Hey Cas. I still don’t get it. I still don’t understand what all this came from. Help me understand... Help me understand you. Understand what caused this. I’ll kill them. I’ll torture them all.” Dean was angry at whoever did this. How dare they?</p>
<p>“Cas, please don’t give up. I need you. Sam needs you. We need you here with us. Whatever they did or said, know that none of it is true. You’re worth it Cas. You are worth more than anyone I’ve ever met, besides Sam. We can’t do this without you.” Dean started weeping again without even noticing. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry I never told you... I’m sorry I never told you how much you mean to me. How much you are worth it. How much you deserve more than this. So if I call Anael to heal you, can you let her? Please let her heal you. Rowena is coming to help too, but Cas... you need to let us help you. Please men. Please, I don’t want to loose you for good.” Dean ended is prayer quietly.<br/>
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________</p>
<p>3 hours passed and the boys were still in the same positions. Sam woke up and saw Dean holding Castiel’s hand and crying. Sam concluded no one could help them.<br/>
“Dean?” He asked sadly. His brother lifted his head and wiped his tears with one hand.</p>
<p>“Hey Sammy.” Responded Dean.</p>
<p>“They ‘re not coming, are they?“ Sam asked. </p>
<p>“Rowena is but she only gets here in a few hours.” Dean informed.</p>
<p>“What if its too late by then Dean?” Sam feared.<br/>
Dean looked at Sam, and Sam saw fear in Dean’s own eyes. Dean did not want to entertain the thought, so instead he asked indirectly.</p>
<p>“You never told me what you found out when you went to talk to the surviving angels.”</p>
<p>“I did Dean. You just didn’t believe me.” Sam reminded.</p>
<p>“When? I don’t remember.”</p>
<p>“In Hell. Before we brought him back up.” Sam gestured to Castiel. Dean looked at Castiel and then back at his brother. </p>
<p>“What? That crap about being our fault?”</p>
<p>“Yeah Dean. Anael warned us, the two angels confirmed it.”<br/>
Dean looked at Sam in disbelief.</p>
<p>“They don’t know us Sam. They don’t know Cas that well either. They were lying to you Sam. To both of you.” Dean sounded pissed off. </p>
<p>“I don’t think so Dean. One of the angels I spoke to, told me that the angels were insulting Cas. We know he usually doesn’t give a shit about that, but a senior angel or whatever, told Cas about all the times we weren’t there for him and he remembered it and agreed with her. I think that’s when he started going down this path.” Sam explained.</p>
<p>“So, basically some angel bitch lied to him and he bought it. Oh I’ll find the bitch.” Dean was missing the point.</p>
<p>“No Dean. The angel said that Cas told her these exact words ‘ You’re right, I remember now’.” </p>
<p>“What is that suppose to mean, he remembers?” Dean refused to believe there was a possibility he was part of the reason Castiel was in this state.</p>
<p>“He remembers when he was hurt, captured, tortured, used, manipulated and whatever else happened to him. He remembers that for some of it we were there yes, but most of it, we weren’t.” Sam concluded.</p>
<p> “No, no. That is not true.” Dean realised the truth of his brother’s words, but still refused to believe it.</p>
<p>“Dean, we caused this. We were always  too busy either fighting some big bad or saving each other’s ass, to even see what he was going trough.”</p>
<p>“What about when Rowena cursed him with a spell? we got her to take the spell off. Or about the time Ramiel stabbed him and he was dying? Or when he was human and that ripper tried to kill him? We were there too, I was the one who got the bitch to bring him back. Or what about when he brought the Leviathans, we got the souls back to purgatory. I mean, should I continue?” Dean argued on their defence.</p>
<p>“First of all, he was running and hiding for days before we were able to help him with Rowena’s spell. He called us, we were fighting the darkness and her infected people. He got tortured and captured by angels before breaking free on his own while cursed. All that could have been avoided. Then, Crowley was the one who figured out how to heal Cas, by breaking Ramiel’s spear, not us. Then, you didn’t got the ripper to bring him back, Gadreel brought him back while possessing me at the time. And yeh we helped bring the souls back to purgatory but the Leviathans still took him and killed him. Should I be the one to continue now?” Sam argued against.</p>
<p>They could compare notes all night but they were both half right and Dean knew Sam’s arguments to be all truth.<br/>
“I’m sorry Dean, I know you wanted to believe it was someone else’s fault but we are the only ones to blame for, this time.” </p>
<p>“We make it up to him. Everything. We make everything up to him.” Dean decided.</p>
<p>“Dean?” Sam called sadly.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“It may be too late for that... I’m not even sure he’s still...” Dean grabbed his brother by the collar and slammed him against the headboard.</p>
<p>“Don’t you dare finishing that sentence, you hear me?” Dean said in an assertive tone.<br/>
Sam just nodded and Dean let him go.</p>
<p>“You should sleep. I’ll stay with him.” Sam advised, changing the subject.</p>
<p>“I’m staying.” Dean said firmly.</p>
<p>“Fine. Then I’ll go and you can take my place on the bed, next to him.” Sam said, while getting up and leaving the room.<br/>
Dean took Sam’s place next to Castiel.  He eventually fell asleep. Dean rearranged Cas’s position while asleep. Castiel was now positioned with his head on Dean’s shoulder, and chest against Dean’s own. Dean had his arms around him, afraid if he let go, so would Castiel.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Are you there?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>They find a plan to get Castiel back. Will it work?<br/>Find out in the next chapter.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi guys, so this chapter is super small but tomorrow I'll post a bigger one. I though you guys could use the extra small chapter to get you thinking. After all this is suppose to be a message. If you're favourite character is the same as mine, then you'll know right away what i'm talking about. <br/>Guys, let me know on the comments what you guys think. How bad do I suck?? <br/>LOL anyway, enjoy. :) :) :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few hours passed and Rowena and Sam were in the library. Sam was putting her up to speed. <br/>“Sam, we should all your brother.” Rowena advised, so Sam just told her to wait and went to wake Dean up, before stopping at the door and watching how his brother was clenching to the angel. After a minute, Rowena joined Sam.</p>
<p>“Ohhh! Don’t these two just look adorable.” She smiled to Sam. “But I’m afraid you have to wake Dean up. She reminded. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I know.” Rowena left the room and Sam woke Dean up.<br/>Dean woke up startled, until he saw Sam staring between him and Castiel. Dean looked at Sam, then to Cas whom was laying down against Dean’s chest. Dean’s cheeks were suddenly burning. He carefully moved Cas back to the bed next to him and got out of the room without looking at Sam or saying anything. Sam closed the door and followed his brother back to the library.</p>
<p>“Dean.” Rowena said, with a cheeky smile on her face.</p>
<p>“Rowena?” Dean stayed serious.</p>
<p>“Did you sleep well dearie?” She teased.<br/>Sam cleared his throat. </p>
<p>“Lets focus guys.” He said, knowing where all the teasing was going.</p>
<p>“Right. Now, Rowena, tell Dean what you told me.” Dean looked at Rowena, hopeful.</p>
<p>“Rowena? Can you help him?”</p>
<p>“I can get you to help him.” She said, leaving Dean confused. She saw his expression, so she continued. </p>
<p>“Samuel here, told me about the real motive for Castiel’s state. So, even if he would be perfectly fine in the outside, its in here...” She gave two soft taps to her forehead. “... that he needs to be saved. So, I can get you inside his mind, but I have to warn you, an angel’s mind doesn’t work like a human’s does, so I don’t know what and how things happened in there. Oh and... before I forget, if you two go together, there is a higher chance to get him back but there’s also a higher chance of one of you, if not both, getting stuck in there. It’s a powerful spell and I wouldn’t know how to get you back. So, once you are in I’ll give you 24h mind time, then I’ll bring you back.” Rowena explained.</p>
<p>“How much is 24h mind time in real life?” Dean questioned, so he could set up a timer. </p>
<p>“About 3h” She answered.<br/>The boys were concerned but Dean just couldn’t accept that Castiel would be gone because of him.</p>
<p>“Let’s do it.” Dean said, while grabbing his bag. </p>
<p>“Sweetheart you are not going to need anything except these.” She handed the brothers a pair of sunglasses each.<br/>Sam didn’t remember her telling him about that, so he asked.</p>
<p>“What are these for?”</p>
<p>“Its an angel Samuel. Its  probably too bright for you inside. And you’re lucky if you don’t end up blind.” She informed.</p>
<p>“So that means we can get to see his true face?” Dean got excited at the thought.</p>
<p>“Only if he wants you to. Which I guess that as soon as you jump into his mind, he’ll make sure its safe enough not to burn your eyes out, which probably means no to that question. Sorry Dean.” </p>
<p>Dean got disappointed. “Fine. Lets just do this.” <br/>Rowena and the boys got everything ready for the spell. The boys put their sunglasses on and Rowena started chanting.<br/>________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________<br/>Suddenly, a bright hot light was felt throughout the brothers entire body. <br/>“Dean?”</p>
<p>“I’m here Sam.” Dean said, next to his brother.</p>
<p>“Where is ‘here’ exactly?” Sam sounded confused.</p>
<p>“Cas’s mind I guess?” Sounded more like a question.</p>
<p>“I can’t see anything.” Remarked Sam.</p>
<p>“Me neither Sammy.” Agreed Dean.<br/>The sound of several doors closing all around them was loud and the gust of wind was so strong it knocked the boys down. Then..., silence. Sam and Dean stood up, noticing the bright room surrounded by 7 closed doors.</p>
<p>“Cas? Are you there?” Dean tried. It was Castiel’s mind after all.<br/>Sam nudged Dean in the arm, pointing to the first door, which was opening by itself.</p>
<p>“I guess he wants us to go in there.” Sam said, pointing to the door.</p>
<p>“Lets go then.” Dean made a move to the door with all certainty, but Sam grabbed his arm.</p>
<p>“Dude, we don’t know what’s on the other side of the door.” Sam tried to be cautious.</p>
<p>“Sam, this is Cas’s mind. He wouldn’t hurt us, now come on.” Sam hesitantly followed his brother.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. This is who I am now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Let's take a trip into our favourite angel's mind. The brothers discover more than dark memories.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi guys. To make up for the previous short chapter I have a longer one. Destiel starts slowly to unravel from here, so its cute. Stay tunned and apologies for any mistakes again. Enjoy guys. Let me know what you think. Or at least, leave me some kudos... Thank you. <br/>:) :) :) Enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The boys landed in a dark room full of dust and spider webs, with a wooden chair in the centre of the room and someone sitting on it, with its arms behind its back, enochian cuffed wrists and blood all over its chest and face.<br/>Dean was going to check who that poor bastard was, when he heard voices and nudged Sam behind a pillar. The brothers listened to what was going on, taking a peak to see if they recognised anyone. Three men and four girls walked in. The first guy was as tall as Dean and wore a black suit with a red shirt, brown hair and eyes. He was smoking a Cuban cigar and looked like he was the one in charge. <br/>The other two guys were also in suits, but were younger and looked like interns in some law business. Two of the girls were young and looked like the typical American cheerleaders, the older one was as authoritive as the guy in charge and as beautiful as the younger girls. The other one left, was currently clutched to the older guy’s side.<br/>The older guy, lets call him Rick. Rick got near the guy on the chair and slapped him in the face to wake him up.</p>
<p>“Can you believe this guy?” Rick said to the others, slapping the poor guy on the chair, once again.</p>
<p>“Hey...hey...wake up brother, wake up.” He said.<br/>One of the younger girls intervened.<br/>“Maybe one of us should wake him up.” She gestured between the girls. Rick took on that idea. </p>
<p>“Good idea.” He looked at the girl clenched to his arm and smacked her behind.</p>
<p>“Hey baby, why don’t you do the honours, make sure he likes it.” He grinned.</p>
<p>She advanced and lifted the guy’s face before sitting on his lap, turned towards him. Dean looked at Sam, he’s eyes widening. What was that girl going to do to that poor guy. They saw the girl rub herself against the guy and the others all laughing. The guy in the chair opened his eyes all of the sudden, he looked straight at Dean in the eyes and mouthed something that none of the brothers knew what it meant. <br/>The girl started to be more aggressive, ripping his clothes apart like a wild dog. The others just laughed and the two cheerleaders joined her. The guy didn’t fight. Not anymore. He did at first, but there were too many sigils, and he was weak and beat up. Dean had enough, he couldn’t watch his angel being used and beaten. Sam tried to call Dean, so Dean just turned to him and said loudly.</p>
<p>“No Sam, I’m not letting this happen,... not again.” <br/>Dean tried to hit one of the girls off of Cas but they just vanished. Along with the room and everyone in it. Sam appeared behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. </p>
<p>“Door number 2?” Sam asked.</p>
<p>“I guess.” Dean responded. When they went to the bright room with 7 doors again, Sam told Dean what he thought happened.</p>
<p>“That was a memory, Dean.” Sam started. “ I think he is trying to show us the times when this kinda happened and we weren’t there.” </p>
<p>“No, no...no. Sam, no.” Dean refused to believe that scene actually happened.</p>
<p>“Dean, we may not know of all the times. He told us some of them but I bet a lot more happened and he didn’t want to tell us.”</p>
<p>“I saw their blades Sam, they were angels too. His own species did this to him.” Dean sounded disgusted.</p>
<p>“I know. And again, we were not there. I guess we can expect the other doors to be like this.” Sam said sadly.</p>
<p>“What about what he was trying to tell us?” Dean inquired.</p>
<p>“I’m not sure. That may actually be Cas, not the one from the memory. I guess we just have to pay more attention in the next memory.” Dean agreed and opened door number 2.<br/>_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________</p>
<p>This time, Sam and Dean were in the middle of an abandoned field,  with high dried grasses like in the middle of a savannah in Africa. Sam saw Castiel sitting in the middle of the field, so he got Dean’s attention. <br/>“This seems like a good memory, look Dean, he looks happy.” Sam remarked.</p>
<p>Dean got closer, followed by his brother and they stopped a couple feet away, knowing it was just a memory and not the real one. Castiel was petting a lion’s head and he had two cubs sitting on his legs and one trying to climb him. He laughed when one of them liked his face. He kept laughing and then stopped suddenly. He looked down, his face saddening and grabbing the cubs to put them on the grass, he spoke to them.</p>
<p>“I like it here too little guys. But...” He sighed. “I need to go back. Sam and Dean need me. At least for now they do. But... “ He smiled softly again. “Once they don’t... again, I’ll come visit you again, ok?... Now, be good to your sisters and mother.” He stood up. “ See you again, goodbye.” He walked right passed the brothers like if he didn’t saw them. He opened the door and both brothers looked at him and back at each other surprised. </p>
<p>“A memory wouldn’t do that.” Sam deduced.</p>
<p>“Its really him. Cas...” Dean started shouting while running towards the door again. Sam followed quickly. But by the time they got back to the room, Castiel was gone.</p>
<p>“Damn it!” Dean exclaimed.</p>
<p>“Lets just try talking to him this time.” Dean tried to push door number 3 but it was locked, so he tried the 4th one, they could come back to the 3rd one at the end. Both brothers walked through door number 4 to see a white room with a morgue table in the centre.</p>
<p>“This must’ve happened in heaven.” Sam thought out loud.</p>
<p>“How is this our fault then? We are human, he wasn’t expecting us to help him here anyway.” Dean reminded.</p>
<p>“Maybe he just wants to show us?” Sam questioned himself too.<br/>The brothers heard a noise and went to hide under the sink. Unbelievably, they had a perfect view of the room and the table. They saw Castiel walk in. He looked like the first year when he took Jimmy’s vessel. 3 other angels walked in behind him and one of them pointed to the table. The other one went behind a metal counter and was preparing materials. The third one prepared a document and handed it to Castiel.<br/>Dean wanted to end this memory and talk to Cas, but Sam stopped him. Whispering that Castiel was showing them these memories for a reason. So they kept watching.</p>
<p>“What is that for?” Asked Castiel, when the paper was given to him.</p>
<p>“Insurance.” The first angel said. “Now, be a good soldier and sign it.”<br/>The second and third angel whom were listening, made an amused face that lasted for a second before returning back to their serious, professional demeanours.</p>
<p>“Why?” Castiel insisted. “I’ve already agreed to my punishment. Isn’t that enough?”</p>
<p>The first angel was not so amused now. “Fine” The angel said firmly. ”Get on the table than. And drop your protection layers, would you?” <br/>The boys saw how Castiel’s expression remained serious and fearless while he took his clothes off and left them on the chair next to the second angel, that was tying everything up; his wrists, ankles, mouth and even forehead. Dean felt nervous, he did not want to watch the rest. So he went on to stand a second time and a second time Sam tried to stop him. However this time, Dean just shook Sam off and shouted while standing up. <br/>“Cas... no.”</p>
<p>As soon as Dean did that, everything in the room disappeared, including Castiel. The door appeared again and the boys just walked out quietly.<br/>“Dean, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter. Lets just keep going. We’re running out of time.” Dean said, while opening door number 5.  They walked into a public laundry mat. Castiel was putting his bloodied trench coat into the machine. </p>
<p>“Oh come on, how is this suppose to be bad? Or our fault, for that matter?” Dean protested. </p>
<p>“I think that’s when he was human, Dean. We weren’t really with him remember?”</p>
<p>“So, what now?”</p>
<p>“Now we watch. We don’t even know if that’s the real one or not anyway.”  Sam explained.<br/>Dean reluctantly agreed.<br/>6 teenage boys walked in and 5 of them were just around, talking and laughing while their friend did some laundry. One of the teenagers spotted Castiel.</p>
<p>“Hey guys, check out that weirdo over there.” The boy pointed Castiel out to his friends.</p>
<p>“Lets go say hi, Tony.” The other one whom was sat next to him said, while standing up. <br/>Toni and his friend approached Cas.</p>
<p>“Oh, oh!” Sam expressed.</p>
<p>“He can take them.” Dean had faith in his friend.</p>
<p>“He won’t Dean. They’re human. He tries to avoid hurting humans.” Sam reminded.</p>
<p>“Even if it means getting hurt himself, shit!” Dean remembered.</p>
<p>Refocusing on the scene displaying in front of them, Toni’s friend slapped Cas in the back, causing him to slung forward.<br/>“How’s it going there?” The boy said.</p>
<p>“Humm, do we know each other?” Cas asked innocently, and confused as to why he was being bothered.</p>
<p>“We do now.” The boy said.</p>
<p>“What do you want?” Cas seemed annoyed.</p>
<p>“My sister wanted a stripper for her 18th birthday party, and you look like you need some money.” Tony indirectly offered.</p>
<p>“That’s got nothing to do with me.” Castiel tried to go around them to leave, but the other boys stepped in front of him.</p>
<p>“Please, I don’t want any trouble.” Castiel said, hoping he wouldn’t need to hurt those boys.</p>
<p>“My friend here is offering you good money for one night with his sister and it would be rude for someone in need, like you are, to reject his offer.” The third friend said.</p>
<p>“I rather be rude and decline then. Now move.” Castiel was starting to get pissed off.<br/>The boys laughed and the rest of the friends joined, to surround him. One of them pulled out a pocket knife. Castiel saw it and warned the boy. </p>
<p>“You don’t want to do that.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I won’t need to, if you reconsider.”</p>
<p>“Then I guess you will need it then.”</p>
<p>The boys laughed again. <br/>“What makes you think you can say no.” One of the boys said, before the boys launched themselves to Castiel from all sides, knocking him to the floor.<br/>Castiel managed to knock 4 of them unconscious, before Tony stood up and stabbed him from behind. Castiel fell to the floor and the 2 boys left standing, dragged their friends out and left. Castiel recovered consciousness a minute or two later, watching the boys leave and struggling to stand up himself. He grabbed his phone and instead of calling 911, he called Dean, then Sam, then Dean again, but no one answered, so he left Dean a voice message before trying to fix himself up.</p>
<p>“Dean, if you hear this, know that I got hurt, but I’ll be ok. I’m sorry if I did something to make you push me away, but I’ll find a way to take care of this...” He looked at the blood gushing out of his wound. “...without stopping by. I’m sorry.” With this, the boys saw themselves in the 7 doors room again, trying to make some sense of what they just saw.<br/>Dean knew that one was on him so he avoided it. “ Let’s not think too much, now come on.” Dean said, knowing his brother had questions. He just opened door number 6 instead.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Bury my memory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Guys, things start to come together towrds the end. Enjoy and thank you for reading. :) :) :) Stay safe and stay cool.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as the door opened, the boys had to find cover, because the explosions were everywhere.<br/>“What a hell is going on?” Dean shouted while covering himself.</p>
<p>“Do those look like meteors to you?” Sam yelled back, while getting cover himself. The noises of the explosions were very loud and the meteors kept falling. That’s when Dean noticed they were in the middle of a jungle.</p>
<p>“Sam where are we?” Dean kept looking around. When a minute passed and Sam did not answer him, Dean looked at his brother, whom was looking up wide eyed. His eyes followed his brother’s view. After looking up, Sam finally said: <br/>“Jurassic era or something around that time period.”</p>
<p>“Holy...” Dean tried a bit freaked out.</p>
<p>“Cas must be around. Remember, that’s his memory.” Sam reminded.</p>
<p>“Do you think we get killed if we try to find him?” Dean asked.</p>
<p>“We don’t have to go look for him. Look!” Sam pointed to a nearby lake.<br/>The boys saw him, and all of the sudden, everything was peaceful. No meteors, no dinosaurs, only a lake, trees, birds, wildlife, Castiel, and...</p>
<p>“Is that Zachariah?” Dean noticed.</p>
<p>“Yeah, let’s get closer so we can hear them.” Sam suggested.</p>
<p>The boys got closer to listen in. <br/>“...that’s why it doesn’t matter Castiel.” Finished Zachariah.</p>
<p>“But...” Castiel tried, when he was interrupted again.</p>
<p>“Listen, it doesn’t matter if we do as Father asks or not. Let me show you what a human would do.” Zachariah grabbed Castiel by the back of his head and plunged him inside the running river, holding for what would be considered too long. Then he let him surface, only to push him completely into the river. Castiel just zapped himself back to land, next to Zachariah, but he was confuse at the occurrence.</p>
<p>“Why did you do that for?” He asked, confuse with his superior’s attitude.</p>
<p>“That is why we shouldn’t help Him wipe out the dinosaurs.” Silence followed for a minute, before Zachariah kept going. “ Humans will be the end of this beautiful planet. I’m telling you. Oh, and by the way, your grace? It’s a bit weak. Go fix that, or you are not coming back to Earth.” <br/>Castiel stood up to leave and the brothers could see how sad he actually was, considering the lack of emotions he had at the time. Dean turned to Sam.</p>
<p>“Why do you think he showed us this?” Dean questioned.</p>
<p>“My guess? He is telling us that he never was treated with care or respect. I mean, you saw and heard Zachariah. And second? The all ‘humanity sucks’ talk may tell us that he now thinks Zachariah was right, because of us.” Sam concluded.<br/>Door number 7 was pushed opened and the boys walked into a black room. What they didn’t know was, that it wasn’t a room at all. </p>
<p>“Now where are we?” Dean asked again, a bit frustrated.</p>
<p>“Oh My God, Dean. I think this is the Empty. He is showing us what happened last time he died and where he’ll end up.” Sam deduced.</p>
<p>“So that other one is...” Dean started.</p>
<p>“The cosmic entity.” Sam finished.<br/>The brothers watched everything, until the door appeared again.</p>
<p>“Men... he never told us what that thing did to him.” Dean said, while opening the door. The boys headed to door number 3, but it still wouldn’t open.</p>
<p>“We are running out of time here. Let me try and kick it.” Dean got ready to kick the door open.</p>
<p>“Wait! This is his head Dean, whatever is in the other side, maybe we should consider everything he showed us.” Sam advised.</p>
<p>“Okay?” Dean had no clue how to do that.</p>
<p>“Dean, maybe he is ashamed.” Sam’s idea did not make sense to Dean.</p>
<p>“Sam, that doesn’t make sense. Ashamed of what?”</p>
<p>“Himself.” Sam concluded.</p>
<p>Dean shrugged. “Mind explaining?” Asked Dean. More confused than ever. Sam sighed. How could his brother be so blind sometimes?</p>
<p>“Think about everything he showed us. The angels, the kids, Zachariah. Humans? Angels? Demons? It doesn’t matter. You saw how he tried and every single time, he was pushed down. This last one? That thing was literally telling him he’d suffer for eternity. I don’t think he wants to die, he doesn’t want to get tortured for eternity in the Empty.” Sam explained.</p>
<p>“Great! Let’s save him then.” Dean was still missing the point.</p>
<p>“Dean, he doesn’t want to live either. I think he is trying to stay in a comma. So he doesn’t have to suffer dead or alive.” Dean’s face fell and his voice started shaking with his brother’s realisation. </p>
<p>“We should’ve told him. We should have showed him, Sam. I should’ve showed him how much he really...” Dean trailed off. He could not finish the phrase. He tried to shake the feeling off, when door number 3 clicked opened and opened by itself. <br/>The boys walked in and Dean bumped into Sam, who stopped in front of him suddenly.</p>
<p>“Dude!” Dean exclaimed. Sam only moved to the side, staring in front of him.</p>
<p>“Wow” Sam was amazed. Dean saw what had Sam so amazed and he got a bit jealous (not that he would admit though).</p>
<p>“Don’t look at him like that.” Dean said, all flustered.</p>
<p>“Dean, his wings. They’re back, and they are so beautiful. He is beautiful.” Sam said, still not taking his eyes off of the angel.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I know he is beautiful. Just stop looking at him like that.” Dean did not like his brother’s sudden fondness of the angel.</p>
<p>“Why?” This time, Sam looked at Dean.</p>
<p>“Why does it bother you so much?” Sam saw his brother turn a shade of red. Dean tried to hide his face by lowering it.</p>
<p>“You have a thing for Cas, don’t you?...Well, no offense but, you could’ve picked a better time to realise that, you know.” Sam declared.</p>
<p>“I know.” Dean admitted in a whisper, keeping his head low.</p>
<p>“Don’t loose him before you can have him Dean, go talk to him.” Sam pushed.</p>
<p>“I can’t Sam. Look at how he is. Look what he’s doing. He still thinks he deserves it.” Dean pushed Sam into the terrible reality in front of them. </p>
<p>“Fine, you don’t have to tell him now, but let’s go. Let’s stop him.”<br/>They started walking behind Castiel, and when the angel threw the huge wooden stick, he was holding, behind him again, Dean grabbed it. The angel dropped it and turned to face the boys.</p>
<p>“Hey Cas.” Sam started, with a soft smile. Sam noticed how his brother just stared at Castiel’s naked chest and wings. Sam nudged Dean with his elbow. Dean got out of his trance. What looked like a soft smile at first, turned into cold and angry eyes. <br/>Dean threw the stick to the floor so harshly, it broke.</p>
<p>“Were you planning to at least say goodbye?” Dean was upset. “Did you even consider how we would feel like, before doing this?... You are not allowed to just check out. You are coming back, you hear me? Even if I have to drag you out, I am not leaving here without you.” Dean just sprinted those words, without noticing the angel’s back bleeding. <br/>Sam noticed, but before he could say anything, Castiel was firm with Dean, and Sam got admired, that even hurt, the angel could stay calm and firm on the surface. </p>
<p>“I don’t owe you an explanation anymore, I never did. Now leave, or I’ll make you leave.”<br/>Dean was about to respond, however, Sam was faster, using a different approach.</p>
<p>“Cas, if you want us gone, then why did you showed us all those memories?” Sam tried. Dean stayed silent, as he was also curious.</p>
<p>“Now you know. You know the truth. You don’t have to blame yourselves anymore. As you could see, it’s me. It always was. Please just go... I tried. I tried to be what everyone wanted me to be, but I can’t. First, my superiors, then my Father, then you two, it doesn’t matter who I try to please. I always screw up. I’m never enough. So, like I said, it’s me. I’m broken from the beginning, I can’t be fixed, and you two proved it. You two knew that I’m not worth fighting for. Why else would you not help me anymore.” Castiel drifted into thinking out loud. He looked to the sky and continued his monologue.</p>
<p>“You did help me a lot. But after a while, you found out the truth, you knew I was only worth sacrificing. After all, that’s the only thing I’m good at. Feelings, no feelings, they always used me to do their dirty work, and I was ok with that. I still am, because what else am I worth for anyway? So, yes. If any of you care at all, you’ll just leave, because I’m happier here. Actually, I’m finally happy here.” Castiel finished, turning to the brothers again.</p>
<p>The boys were shocked. Dean tried to approach Castiel slowly, as if he was afraid the angel would vanish.<br/>“Cas...” Dean tried. “Cas,... you couldn’t be more wrong...” Dean’s voice was low and gentle now. </p>
<p>“Cas,... how can you think so low of yourself? Do you think we would be here if we didn’t care about you?” Dean tried again.</p>
<p>“I know we fucked up bad with you, we weren’t there enough, me specially, I was awful to you half the time...” Dean got cut off.</p>
<p>“Dean, you were right on doing so. I didn’t understand at the time, but I do now. None of you need to apologize. I don’t blame you. That’s the real reason you are here, isn’t it? For forgiveness?... Well, there is no forgiveness, because there never was blame.” Cas interrupted, but Dean took over again.</p>
<p>"Let me finish please. I’m asking for forgiveness yes, but I’m not here just for that. We are here for you. We need you out there with us, not because you’re useful, or your powers, or whatever we made you think it is. It’s because of who you are, because of how you are, because you are everything to us. You mean everything to us. And I know we don’t show it, we don’t say it, but you know how awful we are with feelings. And yet, I know it’s not an excuse, it’s just...” Dean didn’t know how the finish that sentence.<br/>Castiel saw Sam crying next to his brother. He directed his worry to him instead.</p>
<p>“Sam? What’s wrong?” He questioned, but Sam couldn’t form words, so Dean responded for him instead.</p>
<p>“He doesn’t want to loose you either. He knows what I’m telling you is the truth. Hell, even the angels know we’re the reason why you’re in this state. I mean, look at you, you were never broken Cas, the ones around you, including us two, we’re the ones who really broke you.” Dean started tearing up a bit, again.</p>
<p>“Cas, please. Please, come with us.” Sam begged, tears still running down his face.</p>
<p>“We’ll treat you right. We’ll help you, we’ll make it right. Please. I’m so, so sorry. Just, please come back. Please.” Cas’s face softened hearing Sam’s pleads.</p>
<p>“Sam, Dean... I told you, its not your fault. I’m just slowing you down. I’m never gonna be happy out there. You’re never going to be happy with me around. I can’t keep bothering you guys. I’m better off here. Don’t you at least want me to try to be happy?”<br/>Both boys nodded.</p>
<p>“Then, know that I don’t blame you and never will. And know that I am happy in here.” Castiel insisted.<br/>But Dean had one last confession to make before thinking of leaving. </p>
<p>“Cas, I lov...”<br/>Right when Dean was saying it, a huge light appeared and the boys were back into their bodies, outside Castiel’s mind, in the real world. Both boys woke up. Sam was still crying a bit and Dean cussed when he saw the real world.</p>
<p>“Son of a bitch!” He kicked the chair next to him.</p>
<p>“Couldn’t you have waited 1 more freaking minute?” He yelled at the witch.</p>
<p>“Sorry sugar, you’d be trapped if I did.” She reminded.</p>
<p>“What now? Sam questioned.</p>
<p>“Now?... Plan B.” Dean said with all conviction.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Grace and soul</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Maybe its a bit sappy, but what better than a little fluff to rap up the story.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi guys, here it it, the end. I hope you guys enjoyed the story and feel free to share it with your friends under my name. Thank you for reading. Stay well guys. Stay safe and more important, stay cool, :) :) :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We have a plan B?” Sam wondered.</p>
<p>“We improvise.” Declared Dean.<br/>Sam was slowly losing hope. He wanted to grab himself to his brother’s hope, but he knew the truth. He knew Castiel wasn’t coming back and that was on them. He knew they’d have to live with the guilt. Rowena interrupted his thoughts.</p>
<p>“Well, I’m afraid I’m done here. I’m sorry that it didn’t work. I truly liked the handsome angel.” She confessed.</p>
<p>“Wait, no!” Dean stopped her.“  You can’t just leave. There has to be something else we can do.” Sam was the one who responded, with a defeated voice.</p>
<p>“Dean, he doesn’t want to come back. Nothing we do will work. You heard him, he is finally happy in there, and we are the last ones whom should be demanding anything from him. We did this.” Sam reminded.<br/>But Dean wasn’t having any of that. He wasn’t about to give up.</p>
<p>“That’s why we can’t fail him again. Sam, that’s why I’m not giving up on him.” Dean argued.</p>
<p>“He is happy now, Dean. Don’t you want him to be happy?” Sam argued back.</p>
<p>“He isn’t. Not truly. I mean, you saw what he was doing to himself. He’s back was bleeding, he’s feathers were all over the place, and that’s gotta hurt as hell. He was self-torturing, Sam. How is that any close to happiness?” Dean’s argument got Sam thinking, but before he could reply, his brother turned to Rowena.</p>
<p>“Give me 5 more minutes Rowena. Please. 5 more minutes, that’s all I ask.” Dean pleaded. Rowena hesitated at first but then complied.</p>
<p>“Not 1 minute more after this, Winchester. You fail, I’ll go. Good luck.” The witch warned.</p>
<p>“Thank you.” <br/>Before going, Sam pulled Dean’s attention once more.</p>
<p>“You’re gonna tell him?” Sam asked.</p>
<p>“If it makes him come back, then yes. I’ll tell him... Hell, I was about to, before we came back.” Dean admitted.<br/>Rowena zapped Dean back into Castiel’s mind, with the spell. And Dean opened door number 3 to walk in once more. Everything was silent, however, he saw palm trees, a long road and some houses. Not one car, one person, one noise. Except the small breeze of the wind and... there he is.<br/>Huge black wings, folded against his back, Castiel was kneeling in front of a river, leaning with hid head above water, just looking at his own reflection. A sad, and distorted reflexion. Dean never saw the angel cry before. And Sam was wrong. This definitely didn’t qualified as happy. Dean approached the angel, but before he could speak, the angel acknowledged him and turned to face him.<br/>“Hello Dean.”</p>
<p>An internal happiness surged through Dean’s body, when hearing those very common words used by his angel.<br/>“Hi Cas.” He said softly.</p>
<p>“Why are you here again Dean?” The angel avoided Dean’s gaze, preferring to stare at the floor. </p>
<p>“I can’t leave you here Cas, I’m sorry. I know it’s selfish of me to drag you back to a place of suffering, but you are not happy here either.” Dean started.</p>
<p>“You’re wrong. I’m happy here.” Castiel contradicted.</p>
<p>“Is that why you’re hurting yourself? Your wings? Your back? All that blood... The tears I just saw you spill? Is that your definition of happiness?” Dean wasn’t giving up without a fight but apparently, neither did Castiel.</p>
<p>“I’m just self-correcting Dean. For all the wrong I did and got away with it. For the Leviathans and purgatory, for letting Lucifer use me, and Metatron, Naomi..., and everything I should’ve done to help you and Sam, when I couldn’t. For being weak and always need saving, instead of doing the saving.” Castiel paused, before agreeing with Dean, partially.</p>
<p>“You’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t be here...” Dean’s face lights up with hope at this, before falling with terror again after his next statement.</p>
<p>“...maybe the Empty would be a perfect punishment for me. Eternal torture.” Cas lowered his head even more. </p>
<p>“No. Hell, no. You gotta stop men. If I thought about punishing myself for every bullshit I did and every bullshit I should’ve done, Hell? The Empty? Your Father? It would be too gentle. I’m worse than you men, but you know what? You’re the last being to deserve any type of punishment. You suffered enough, and I’m sorry I’m only realising this now. But at least, give me a chance to prove you wrong. About everything, me, you, Sam, the world. Screw the rest. I can’t do this without you anymore, please. I promise I’ll try to stop being a dick to you. You can even kick my ass if I do.” Dean tried to put a little humour on the heavy topic.</p>
<p>“Dean, I’ll just keep disappointing you, and destroy everything again.” Cas looked Dean in the eyes, with sadness.</p>
<p>“So? I do that all the time. We’ll fix it, like we always do. Please.” Dean tried to reason with Castiel. He was desperate because time was running out fast.</p>
<p>“What am I suppose to do out there?” Castiel asked.</p>
<p>“Be with me. That’s all you have to do. You don’t have to fight, you don’t have to protect me and Sam, just be with us. Be with me.” Dean asked softly.</p>
<p>“I...I don’t know.” Castiel looked down again, conflicted.</p>
<p>“Cas, just go up there. Let Anael heal you and we can talk about it, please.” Dean urged.</p>
<p>“Uhmm...o...ok.” Cas said, still not sure. Dean smiled and disappeared back into the real world, just in time to call Sam.</p>
<p>“Sam, call Anael now. Now!” Dean did not waste time ordering. <br/>Sam made the call and Rowena smiled at Dean.</p>
<p>“How did you do it?...” Rowena was curious. “Power of love?” She teased. Dean turned red and hid his face behind a beer he go from the kitchen earlier.</p>
<p>“Shut up.” He said, all flustered.</p>
<p>“Maybe you should have just kissed him. At least that works on fairy tales.” She giggled. Dean didn’t respond and Sam went to open the door for Anael.</p>
<p>“You’re here fast?” Dean noticed.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I was in the neighbourhood. For some reason, I knew you would be calling me back. Now, where is he?” Anael went directly to business.<br/>Sam guided Anael to where Castiel was, and Rowena wished the best for the boys and said her goodbyes before leaving. Sam and Dean watched Anael finish her healing and get up to leave the room. </p>
<p>“Wait a minute. He is not waking up, an you’re leaving?” Sam questioned.</p>
<p>“He will. He’s just a bit tired. Give him some time and he’ll be just fine. But boys...? Leave him be if he tries this again. He’s been through enough and its your fault. So, either take care of him right, or let him go. Don’t keep playing around with him.” She said firmly, then left the bunker.<br/>Sam and Dean were baffled with her comment, when Sam decided to agree with her.</p>
<p>“She’s right Dean, we can’t screw up again, he can’t take it anymore.” </p>
<p>“I know Sammy... I’ll stay with him. You can go get some rest.” Dean advised.<br/>Sam went to his room more relaxed, knowing the angel would wake up this time.<br/>_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________<br/>A couple of hours later...</p>
<p>... Dean woke up with someone stirring his bed. He was fully awake by the time he realised Castiel was opening his eyes. He still looked very pale and weak but he was alive and that was all it took for Dean to grab Cas and hug him tight, squeezing him like the world was ending.<br/>“Cas!” Dean exclaimed, all exited.</p>
<p>“You’re awake. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much.” He eased on the grip and helped Cas sitting down more properly.</p>
<p>“Don’t you ever do that to me again, you hear me?” Dean said, making sure the angel knew he wasn’t mad at him.</p>
<p>“Why...?” Castiel tried speaking.</p>
<p>“Hey. Take it easy. Just rest. It’s fine Cas, you don’t have to say anything. Just relax.” Dean pressed, but Castiel was determined to at least finish his question.</p>
<p>“Why do you... want me back... so bad?... I’m ... damaged...Dean.” He coughs a bit. <br/>Dean tries to reassure him, when he casually confesses.</p>
<p>“We’re all damaged here, so we’ll make it work. I let you go way too many times. I’m not about to make that mistake again. I know that Sam is everything to me but you’re my happy place. Gosh, I’m sappy.” He giggled a bit before continuing. “I’ll never let you go again. I love you too much.” He finished. <br/>The room was quiet for a while.</p>
<p>“That’s one of the reasons... I left, Dean. I didn’t want to keep ruining your life. Hurting people I love...” Castiel said softly.<br/>Dean shook his head and grabbed Castiel’s face between his hands.</p>
<p>“No you ass. Leaving hurts, staying makes me happy. Like I told you... you don’t have to do a single thing apart from being present, unless you want  to.” Dean reminded him. </p>
<p>“Oh and... long overdue...”</p>
<p>“What is?” Castiel was confused, so Dean just smiled before suddenly kissing him. The kiss was soft but firm. Just enough to let the angel know the truth without scaring him off. Then Dean pushed away and stood up, changing the subject.</p>
<p>“I’m gonna call Sam. He’ll be happy to see you awake.” He left in a hurry, to call his brother and Castiel just watched him leave, still trying to process what just happened. When Sam arrived, he knew right away that his brother did something, so he just focused on Castiel’s state instead.</p>
<p>“Cas, you’re awake! I’m so glad you’re back, men.” Sam gave Castiel a minute.</p>
<p>“Humm, yes. It’s good to see you too Sam. I’m sorry for all the trouble.” Cas finally responded.</p>
<p>“Hey no. I am the one who is sorry. For everything, Cas. For the past, the present, and hopefully, not the future.” Sam said. <br/>Sam saw Castiel a bit uncomfortable, so he just asked.</p>
<p>“What did Dean do to you? You seem a bit uncomfortable.” Castiel hesitated before answering.</p>
<p>“He...hum...he kinda...uh...kissed me.” Cas rushed the last words, like they were on fire.</p>
<p>“Oh, I see.” Sam just laughed. “Wait for Dean to be the subtle one. Hahahaha!” He teased.</p>
<p>“But seriously, I don’t know why it took him so long to be honest. He does know you feel the same, right?” Sam questioned, despite knowing the answer already.</p>
<p>“Humm, well... I don’t know how you know that, but... he stormed off right after... and I didn’t got the chance to tell him.” Cas was feeling a bit awkward at this point.</p>
<p>“Oh, typical of Dean, just dropping the bomb then leaving.” Sam thought out loud. He refocused on the angel.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry Cas, I’ll bring him here for you.” Sam left without giving a Castiel a chance to protest. When he brought Dean back to the room, he quickly added: “I’m glad you’re with us Cas. We’ll do better, I promise. Oh and, congrats you two, its about damn time.” Be fore retreating to his room happily. Happy that Cas was back and those two finally found each other.<br/>Dean stood front of the bed, not approaching, and just scratching the back of his neck nervously.</p>
<p>“You can come closer, you know.” Cas thought Dean’s sudden nervousness was adorable. Dean slowly walked to the bed and sat down next to Castiel.</p>
<p>“Cas,...I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have...” Dean didn’t got to finish that sentence, because Cas leaned on to him and kissed him firmly. Dean was hungry for more, so he took over and they only pulled apart for Dean to breathe.</p>
<p>“You’re sure?...you know I’m an asshole and I know you deserve better.” Dean needed to be sure.</p>
<p>“I’m sure... I’m sure we are both damaged goods, so it can’t get any better for either of us.” Cas confirmed. <br/>Dean nodded and promised Castiel he would do everything to make sure the angel was treated fairly and kindly this time. </p>
<p>                                                                         THE END!</p>
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